Despite my thoughts that Wesley would come on his own before the induction, he did not. I was super emotional on Sunday, knowing it was our last day as a family of three and knowing that the uncertainty of the induction was only hours away. Having so much time to think is a huge detriment for an anxious person like me, haha.
I spent much of Sunday trying to wrap up everything that we needed for the next few days - care for Elle for the day of induction, meals and instructions for her caregivers, recheck of the hospital bag, etc. Tim and I both put Elle to bed - a rarity since he works nights - and then he left us to cuddle. I was a sobbing mess - if I had spontaneously gone in to labor I definitely wouldn't have had the time to dwell on how this was my last time putting Elle to bed as an only child.
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| Family photo as we put Elle Belle to bed. |
Except in true anxious/pregsomnia style, I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing, Wesley had a mega-strong case of the hiccups, I had to pee and I couldn't get comfortable. I kept thinking it would be awesome if I went in to the hospital already in labor. I ended up going back and forth from the bed to the couch for two hours before getting about two hours of broken sleep ... then we had to get up to get ready.
Our friend Kelly came over at 4:15 a.m. to assume Elle duty, and we said goodbye and headed to the hospital for our 5 a.m. induction. I didn't feel good - my stomach was a big knot wrapped up in the Chinese food I had eaten for dinner the night before. I didn't want to eat much before we left for the hospital, so I had a handful of cereal for "breakfast," and that was it. I wasn't sure if that would help or harm me later on, but I really couldn't stomach anything more. It was a warm morning, heavy with humidity, and as we drove Tim kept a close look at what was playing on our satellite radio. He told me that if a song by the band Dokken (his favorite) played, it was good luck - apparently a Dokken song played on the way to the hospital when we had Elle. I asked what it meant if we didn't hear a Dokken song and received no reply. We decided we had our "sign," though, when "Welcome to the Jungle" played as we made the final approach to the hospital - it's the song that plays before the Bengals' kickoff (Tim's favorite team) and also the song we had play as we entered our wedding reception. No better way to usher in another great change, right? And it is designed to pump you up, so I figured it was preparing me for "game time."
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| Parking garage photo at 5 a.m. = not attractive reality of 40 weeks, 2 days pregnant anxious woman. |
Around 6:20, the nurses came in - Sandra was a nurse on the mommy/baby floor and was training with Ellen to be a labor and delivery nurse. Apparently there weren't a lot of other inductions scheduled for the day and things were pretty quiet on the floor, because we had a lot of attention from Sandra and Ellen over the next few hours. Having Sandra train was kind of cool because she asked a lot of questions and Ellen explained a lot of things to her, so I felt like I was hearing EVERYTHING that was going on. There was some confusion about the doctor doing my induction, because Dr. S. wasn't listed on the paperwork that the hospital had on file. Ellen called Dr. S. at home and confirmed that he'd be the one doing the induction and went over the process he was going to use - a process she was familiar with but wanted to confirm. He ended up showing up at the hospital around 6:45 and asked if I had any questions. I asked if we had to do this, and he said no, but if I wanted the baby to come out today this was my best shot.
By 6:50, I was under instruction to lie as flat as possible and not move so that the pill that had been placed against my cervix could work its magic. Dr. S. confirmed that my cervix really hadn't made much change since my last appointment with him six days before, so that whole going in to labor thing on my own was officially not happening.
The next 90 minutes or so were pretty uneventful. Tim and I watched TV. I ate ice chips. Ellen asked me what my labor approach was, like "Deep breathing" or "Wants epidural." I said that I would describe my approach during Elle's birth as "Frantic and chaotic," as I was terrified and in pain but everything went quickly. I made it clear that I was anxious and scared about this experience, too, and they assured me that they would take good care of me. Not that I doubted it, but I really felt like I was in good hands and was grateful that they were aware of my anxiety.
At about 8:30, Dr. S. came back (his office is in a building right across from the hospital) to break my water. Ellen told me it wasn't going to hurt more than a normal exam, Dr. S. immediately said that it would be a little worse. At that point, I told him he wasn't helping things. Having your water break is one of the weirdest sensations in the world. Ellen originally thought there wasn't too much fluid, but after she switched out the dressings on the bed she said they were really heavy and I must have had a lot of fluid. Awesome.
Nothing more could be done until 8:50, because there had to be two hours between the pill being inserted in to my cervix and the start of the Pitocin. But at 8:50, the Pitocin started and the few contractions I had been having all morning became much more regular and noticeable. I wasn't in a lot of pain, but I definitely felt them. I breathed through them, repeating to myself "You're going to be born today, you're going to be born today ..." Ellen and Sandra were happy with the contractions on the monitor and the baby's response to them, and around 9:30, I asked to move to an exercise ball to get more comfortable.
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| These were definitely the tame contractions. |
Another issue that became apparent to me when I was on the exercise ball was that my fingers were extremely swollen. I mentioned it to Sandra, and she told me it was from the fluids I was getting. She suggested putting my hands above my head to help gravity redistribute the fluid. The middles of my fingers were white, the ends were red and it hurt to make a fist or bend my fingers. I told Tim I wasn't sure how I was going to grip his hand if I couldn't even feel mine. I tried to keep my hands up, often crossed behind my head, to help the swelling. After about an hour, I could really tell a difference and the discomfort in my hands was much less.
The contractions got more intense pretty much right away after they increased the Pitocin. Still manageable, but more painful. I was moved back to the bed and they checked me again - I was only about 3 cm dilated. Not what I wanted to hear. A little more time went by and Dr. S. called over to see if I had made any progress. Ellen checked me and I was dilated 4 cm. Just to add to the fun, Dr. S. stopped in a little bit later and decided to put an internal monitor on me to check the contractions. The Pitocin was increased again, and I was officially not a happy camper. I knew that if I was going to have a baby today, though, the Pitocin was what was going to make it happen.
At this point, I was feeling uncomfortable, scared, tired and afraid of what the next few hours would hold. I talked to Tim and then to the nurses and decided to get the epidural. I hadn't had one with Elle, and I hadn't planned to get one with Wesley, but since this was an induction and I wasn't sure what to expect, I figured all expectations were off. It was mostly a pride thing for me - I had been pre-certified to receive the epidural for both deliveries, and I always maintained that I was open to the epidural if I felt I needed it. Elle's birth went in a way that really didn't leave me feeling like it was the best option. But with this birth, I didn't know if I'd be having contractions for another 45 minutes or another five hours. I didn't think I could handle it for five hours, and I feared that at two days overdue with my second child - a male - I was looking at a larger baby. I wasn't sure how I felt about doing that naturally.
But the epidural wasn't as smooth of an experience as I had hoped. I'd had a lot of lower back pain in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, and I guess the tightness in my back combined with the fact that the bed was kind of uneven made it challenging for the epidural to be administered. (In retrospect, I feel like doing Pilates and strength training more frequently during my pregnancy with Elle helped a lot with the back pain that came with pregnancy and my recovery.) The nurse tried twice but wasn't having any luck, so she brought in an ultrasound machine and started drawing points on my back. She kept asking if I had back issues or scoliosis, and the fact that this wasn't going as easily as I expected made me more nervous (which also probably made me more tense). Add to that the fact that she asked me to curl my body over my 40-weeks-and-2-days pregnant belly as I was having strong contractions AND relax, and I think it was easy to see that this wasn't going to be a walk in the park for any of us.
She finally got the epidural in and everything settled. I eased back in to the bed and had one more strong contraction. Ellen noted that the way I was curling my toes gave her an indication that I had probably dilated to 6 or 7 cm. She was pretty much the world's most complimentary person, and while I'm sure some of it was just to keep my spirits up, I appreciated it all. She told me that I was handling the pain beautifully and that no one would ever know how far I was just by looking at me. She also told me I was thin at one point - I think she was talking about how the epidural would be easy to administer and go in to effect - and I told her I loved her.
Long story short, the epidural went in to action almost immediately. It was a little after 11:30, and I wasn't feeling the pinchy contractions any more. I couldn't believe the relief it brought, although I was concerned that it would create issues when it came time to push. I had also worried it would slow my progress down, but Ellen told me that it wouldn't be a problem and might actually help my body relax and progress with labor.
The only downside to the epidural? I started to shake. Like, uncontrollably. Ellen and Sandra told me to get some rest and that they'd be back to check me in half an hour. They brought me an extra blanket - Ellen said the shaking could be my body's natural reaction to the pain it was experiencing (the pain I wasn't feeling because of the blessed epidural). I closed my eyes and tried to just relax, but the shaking threw me off a bit. The epidural distributed fairly evenly - my right leg was a bit more numb than my left, but I couldn't feel the contractions. Looking at the monitor, they had increased dramatically in intensity and consistency, and I had no idea how I wasn't feeling them - the internal monitor was showing that they were crazy, and I was extremely thankful for the epidural then.
They checked me again after 30 minutes, which I think was around noon or 12:30. At this point, I was asking if I could order pizza so we could have a pizza party after I delivered. (I had already half-jokingly asked if I would be likely to deliver by lunch and just get everything wrapped up.) I mentioned that I was pretty sure the baby was just going to slide out because of the magical epidural. I was pain-free and hopeful, what can I say?
When I delivered Elle, I dilated pretty consistently and it was easy to keep track of - I'd say it was about a centimeter an hour. This time, I feel like I jumped around, from 4 to 6 and then all of a sudden Ellen was calling Dr. S. to tell him I was ready to start pushing. She'd been checking Wesley's position, and she said he'd taken a sudden turn and had basically slipped in to his final position. She asked if I felt any pressure, and although I had been concerned that the epidural would eliminate the feeling of pressure, I *did* feel it. Dr. S. arrived, a nurse came in to take care of the baby when he arrived, and I realized that it was almost time for Wesley's arrival. Things were getting serious. They broke down the bed to prepare it for delivery and had the bright lights shining - it was showtime.
I had lost track of time at this point, but I knew the contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes. I had been keenly aware all morning of what the monitors sounded like at each point in my contraction, so even if I hadn't felt the pressure, I knew that when the baby's heartbeat slowed the pressure was going to get more intense. I took deep breaths between the contractions because I was worried I was going to hyperventilate - I had to really focus on staying calm and relaxed.
Dr. S. quickly determined that I wasn't quite ready to have a baby. I'm a sucky baby pusher, and Wesley wasn't quite in the right position. Dr. S. went back to his office to attend to another patient, and Ellen told me to rest for a few contractions before we tried pushing again. NOT pushing was almost as hard as pushing, but I tried to just breathe and relax. Ellen asked me if Elle had had dark hair - she had seen Wesley's head when I had been pushing before, so we knew he was close. Like during my delivery with Elle, I was constantly asking if they were sure he was coming, if it would be soon, how many more pushes, etc.
I rested for about 10 minutes - about five contractions. I realized I was really itchy, a sensation that continued for about an hour after I delivered (an apparent side effect of the epidural that would quickly pass but was extremely annoying at the time).
When I started pushing again, they seemed to be much more productive pushes. The numbness I felt in my leg wasn't as much of an issue, and I just focused on trying to get that baby out. I wasn't feeling pain, just the pressure, and I wanted to meet that little boy. I was so ready to be done, and I knew I had to wait for Dr. S. to arrive - the fact that they had called him back must mean that I was really close. I was hoping he'd arrive soon so the pressure would go away, and I worried I wouldn't be able to wait until he got there. When I heard him enter the room, I felt extremely relieved. I knew I didn't have to wait anymore. I pushed through one contraction and then Dr. S. told me to wait a minute because he had to get rid of some scar tissue - likely left behind from the rather substantial tearing I endured during Elle's delivery. After that, I think it was about three pushes and I felt the release of pressure that was Wesley's head and shoulders. The pushing after his head and shoulders was slow and easy - I saw his head and watched as the rest of him emerged so they could place him on my chest, wriggly, confused and slimy at 1:57 p.m.
I'd like to think I wasn't as hysterical as I was when Elle was born. I wasn't as physically spent or in as much pain as I was during my delivery with Elle, and I knew what to expect this time. I was so thankful that Wesley was here and he was healthy. I took more time to appreciate each moment - I examined his face and decided he didn't look very much like Elle. He had a smaller head, a slightly conical shape and wasn't as puffy as Elle had been. I've since decided that he looks a lot like Elle when she was born - Tim says he looks more like her every day. They had the same birth mark in the center of their foreheads (I had it when I was younger, too), and they have a dark birthmark on the napes of their necks. Wesley has a big bruise on the top of his head, likely from my pelvic bone during delivery. His right eye also has a purplish bruise/big vein that pops out when he's angry/crying. Most shockingly was the fact that Wesley was smaller than Elle - he weighed 7 pounds, 14 ounces. I was sure that he was going to be longer, too, from the way he'd stretched out in the womb, but he was 20 inches long. (My official guess on the way to the hospital was that he'd weigh 8 pounds, 6 ounces and be 21.5 inches long.) Dr. S. remarked that his cord was really long, too. He's got long, thin legs and a funny Benjamin Button forehead.
Dr. S. delivered the placenta and stitched me back up, and I said something about how much pain I'd been in last time with the second and third degree tears - it was hard to focus on anything else. The nurses told me that I had a singular first degree tear where that scar tissue was, but overall, there was nothing terrible. Dr. S. said I'd been in so much pain during the repair from Elle's delivery because he'd had to use the local anesthetic. Oopsie. (And ouchie.) But this was a much, much better experience overall, and I'm sure part of it was due to the epidural, but part of it was also because this was my second child and he was smaller. Less pushing, more effective pushing, less tearing and less repair. Win, win, win, win.
The hospital's policies have changed slightly since I delivered Elle there three years ago. When Elle was born, she was almost immediately whisked away for assessment. Wesley stayed on my chest for several minutes, then they took him to weigh him and brought him back to me. They didn't do a full assessment or measure his length until more than an hour after birth, which was nice. I was able to breastfeed Wesley almost immediately - he had quite the rooting instinct - and his latch was ridiculously strong. (He later developed in to more of a lazy, shallow latcher, which caused me a LOT of pain and damage, but we were all marveling at his initial natural instincts.) After he was completely checked out, Tim was able to hold him for the first time.
We stayed in the delivery room for about two hours, and I was able to have some juice and crackers - I hadn't eaten since the night before, so I was so grateful for any food. Tim called my parents, his parents, my sister and texted and Facebooked the news while I nursed Wesley. Around 4:30, we were wheeled down to the Mommy Baby Unit. They had food in our room there, and I devoured it. Wesley just slept. Tim left to go relieve our babysitter, get some dinner for him and Elle and bring her back to see me and meet Wesley.
Elle and Tim came back around 6 (I'll write about the sibling meeting in a separate post some time soon). They stayed until about 7:30, and then I was on my own for the night.
My IV was taken out at 10 p.m., and Wesley stayed with me until about midnight, when they took him to bathe him and do his hearing test. I was finally able to grab a few hours of sleep, and they brought him back to my room around 4:30 or 5 a.m. Dr. S. stopped in just before 7 a.m. to see how I was doing. He asked if I wanted to go home that day or stay another night, adding that if it were him he'd probably stay just to have the extra help from the hospital staff and give myself more time to adjust. The problem was that I didn't really feel I had gotten a lot of help from the hospital staff, and since Tim wasn't able to stay at the hospital with me I was pretty much on my own and missing him and Elle. Dr. S. told me he'd leave the decision up to me and to let the nurses know if I wanted to be discharged that day. I decided to think about it and talk to Tim, but I was leaning toward going home. Breakfast and the parade of hospital personnel began around 8 a.m. After eating breakfast and taking a shower, I felt much better.
Around 10 a.m., my nurse asked if I had made a decision about when I wanted to go home because she wanted to make sure the paperwork and tests were all completed for me if I was going to leave that day. I decided to go home - I felt good physically, and I knew that Tim would help me and it would be nice to start our family bonding process at home. A lot of the necessary tests couldn't be done until Wesley was 24 hours old, and the nurse was great in making sure that they were all taken care so that we could go home ASAP.
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| Elle chills in my hospital bed. |
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| Ready to go home! |
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| Loaded up in to the car! |
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| Welcome home, Wesley! |
Birth story epilogue:
A lot of people seemed surprised that I was home by dinner the day after delivering my second child. Tim and I figured it out, though - when I delivered Elle, I was only in the hospital for about 30 hours. In retrospect, that probably wasn't long enough - I easily could have used another night in the hospital to recover, but at that time, people were in and out of our room all night long and none of us slept well. This time it was quite the opposite - no one really checked on me or Wesley except to remove my IV and take him for his bath, and my hospital stay was about 36 hours. Considering my pain was so much less with Wesley, I think it was a good decision.My physical recovery has been amazing so far. I honestly feel so much better at a week postpartum than I did at a month postpartum with Elle. I felt pain until I was six or seven weeks postpartum with Elle, and right now, I feel fantastic, all things considered. The swelling in my feet was pretty bad for the first week - the extra IV fluids made me swell up like crazy. The number on the scale stayed high for several days, but I expected that after a similar experience with Elle. At 10 days postpartum, I'm now down about 20 pounds, and my belly has slowly been shrinking. I was given Ibuprofen in the hospital and continued to take it for a few days after I was discharged but never needed the Percocet that I had taken for several days after Elle was born. I had some intense back pain for the first few days, which I attribute to several factors, including the back pain I had before delivery, the epidural and then the muscles I was calling on to nurse and take care of a newborn - muscles that hadn't been used in those ways for years. The hospital bed also wasn't the most comfortable, and since I couldn't do much except sit or lie on the bed for almost 24 hours, that kind of stunk and didn't help the back pain at all. Emotionally, I've been struggling, but I'm trying to ride it out for a few weeks and hope that it gets better. I know from experience that hormones and my emotions do not mesh well together, but I don't think I was prepared to be this much of a mess. (Please pity Tim, too.) Hormones+emotions+new baby+oldest child about to turn 3=one sobbing blob of a mama.
Wesley is doing great, too. His birth weight was 7 pounds, 14 ounces. I'm not sure how much he weighed at discharge, but we visited the pediatrician when he was two days old, and he was at 7 pounds, 3 ounces. My milk came in at the end of day 3, and he's been nursing every 2-3 hours with an occasional 4-hour stretch at night. We had a weight recheck on when he was nine days old and he was up to 7 pounds, 12 ounces. His diaper output is ridiculous and any signs of jaundice that he had initially faded dramatically by the time he was a week old, so the doctors were all really pleased with his progress.
For reference, here is Elle's birth story.
