Warning: Long, media-filled post ahead!In a few days, I am going home and will see family and friends that I haven't seen since we found out we were expecting. (*Technically, I was pregnant while in Ohio the last time, but we didn't know it ... and there's a story there worth a separate post ...) I have quite a bit more belly than I did the last time I was home, and I've been thinking about how we delivered the "big news" more than four months ago.
I've been known to pull a fast one or two. There was that time when I went to Pennsylvania to be at the 16th birthday party of my best friend from first grade - I dressed up in a gorilla suit to surprise her
(above left), and it was the first time I'd seen her since second or third grade.
There was that time when I was in high school and we threw a surprise baby shower for my mom. She had NO clue.
(Photo at right is of Mom walking in to the shower.) There was th
e time I cut 10 inches of hair off to donate to Locks of Love, borrowed a fake hair piece from my college RA and spent an afternoon o' faux hair at home before telling my mom and little brother that I was sans a long, natural ponytail. (If you want photos of that, I've got 'em.) There was also that time that I flew home from Florida for Thanksgiving, had my dad pick me up at the airport and we arrived home to completely shock my mom. (Wow, Mom, you're pretty easy to fool!)
During that same trip, I surprised my little brother with a trip to a Cleveland Cavaliers game as an early Christmas present. My mom didn't want me to let him know of the pending surprise too early, so I had to wait until the morning of the game to tell him. Because I am conniving and tricky, I videotaped his groggy-but-excited reaction as he woke up and found the tickets ... and then found out that we were going to the game that night.
And there was also the classic surprise
80th birthday party we threw for my grandma - what started as a way for "Kristin to save money by flying in to Pittsburgh and visiting with Grandma for a day" turned in to a "This is your life" episode for Grandma, complete with a visit from my brother and sister-in-law from Colorado. I really thought Grandma was nearly on to us several times, but we managed to keep it under wraps, and it was a huge success :)
Grandma, tissue in hand, cries to Mom and Marti:
"I can't believe you surprised me!"There have been some near-surprises, too - like the time I planned to surprise my best friend Meghan by showing up in Phoenix for a bachelorette-themed weekend (we got engaged about six weeks apart, married about six weeks apart and got together for one weekend to have makeup trials, go through bridal magazines, discuss wedding details and enjoy a night out and an afternoon at a spa courtesy of her then-fiance ... bliss!). She kind of ruined that one herself when she essentially guessed it outright and her husband had no time to cover (but it really worked out better that way, as we were able to plan the weekend out and make the most efficient use of our time together!).
Meg and I show off our engagement rings
during a night out in Glendale.
So it's not REALLY unfathomable for me to deliver what is arguably the biggest news of my life - and definitely the biggest news of the year - in surprise fashion, is it? And considering I was faced with a) the time to brainstorm ideas and b) the obstacle of being 1,000 miles away from most of our family and friends, it required a little sneakiness on my part to amp up the drama. (And I TOTALLY should have taken pictures or video of these.)
I
waited allll day to tell Tim. Which killed me. I tested on a Sunday morning. On Monday morning, I took my lunch break at my part-time job (and I was working a 5 a.m. to noon shift, so "lunch" was at 8 a.m.) and called my OBGYN's office to make an appointment. I then walked out of the break room and went to my manager, whom I had known for only two weeks. We need to put requests for time off in two weeks ahead of time, and my appointment was 10 days away. I blurted out "Mike, I need next Wednesday off to go to a doctor's appointment because I'm pregnant." It was weird to hear "I'm pregnant," and I'm pretty sure Mike didn't know what to make of the info, either, but he said congratulations and told me taking the day off would be no problem.
Another photo from Mom's surprise shower, just for fun.For the rest of the day, I had to wait until my dad was home from work and my little brother was home from school before I could call my parents. I usually talk to my mom every day, and I had to refrain from calling her on Sunday because I was worried I'd slip.
So that night, I called my mom and asked her if she'd help me with a class project. I told her we were videoconferencing in class that week (it's an online class, so it was plausible), and I was trying to see how many people could comfortably fit in the screen, so I asked if she could gather my dad and little brother in front of the computer. She gathered them with little resistance, we signed in to iChat, and I told her I'd need to ask some test questions but it wouldn't take long. I started with some lame ones ... "Dad, do you want to retire?" (He laughed like crazy, which I knew to take as a yes.) "Doug, how was school today?" (I think at this point he was making up an answer, but I was worried about blowing the delivery of my next question, which referenced the fact that my brother and sister-in-law had announced that they're expecting about three weeks before we found out *we* were expecting.)
"Mom and Dad, how would you feel about becoming grandparents twice this summer?" At this point, my dad got this *look* on his face, and my mom said something like, "That would be fine ... wait. What?! Are you trying to tell us something?" And by then I was smiling like an idiot and nodded. I told them the details - what little we knew at that point, how we were going to call my siblings and Tim's parents and brother's family that night and tell a few close friends, but we were going to keep it a secret from extended family until after the appointment, just to confirm that things were OK thus far.
I then called my sister and told her she had a limited amount of time to join Baby Club 2010. She instantly understood the reference and started asking questions, like how far along we were, when we'd found out, etc. I called my brother and asked if he thought his baby or mine would arrive first. I thought that might trip him up, but he laughed and said, "Well, I guess that depends on when you're due." (At the time, I thought there might be a chance we were due in early to mid-July, like my sister-in-law.)
Tim was hesitant to call his parents that night because they had been at calling hours for a family friend. I was rather impatient, though, and told him that this good news might help during a difficult time. He called a few times, got voicemail, and then finally got through to his mom. He asked about the calling hours, made some conversation and then pretty much got right to the point: "Well, Mom, I'm calling to tell you that Kristin is pregnant." I was standing right next to him, jumping excitedly from foot-to-foot while I untangled Christmas ornaments, and I could just hear the disbelieving silence. Then the excitement :) (Tim's mom agreed that it was indeed much-needed good news given the circumstances.)
We called Tim's brother, Todd, and sister-in-law, Angie. When Angie answered, I asked her how Tim's nephews were and got a rundown on their involvement in basketball and the family's preparations for Christmas. Then I told her "the big news" and laughed while she reacted with shock and screams. (I think the first thing she said was "You guys have to move back to Ohio.") Angie told Todd, and then we got Tim on the phone to tell his nine-year-old nephew, Cal, who thought it was "pretty cool" that he was going to have a cousin.
To tell some of my closest-in-relationship-yet-most-distant-in-proximity friends, I pulled similar stunts. I talked to my friend Lindsey during a previously scheduled phone call and told her I was mad that she was moving to Minnesota ... because I didn't think she'd be able to see my baby very often. I think she was initially guarded and ready to defend her family's choice to move (a choice I've supported 100% from the beginning, so I think she was surprised to get delayed opposition from me). Then she was silent as she processed the last part of my statement :)
I had oh-so-casually e-mailed Meghan with a story similar to the one I'd used on my mom. I explained to her that the "class videoconferencing" required the use of Skype, a program I'd never used before, but she and her husband have used regularly. I asked if maybe we could try to Skype on Tuesday evening and just make sure everything worked. My plans were nearly blown, though, as she told me they'd been having trouble with their sound and she wasn't sure it would work. But she agreed to try, and we set a time.
I signed on that night, and her husband had helped her hook things up, so she told me if I had specific questions I'd probably have to ask Mike. I think I said something like, "OK, cool ... but I have to tell you the truth - there's no class project. I actually have some news that I wanted to share with you ..." To this, I think she responded with a semi-confused "Oh?" And then I told her, "I'm pregnant!" I told her the background of how we'd found out, answered some questions, and Mike came in during our brief chat and said, "I knew something was up ... I figured you knew how to use Skype and I didn't know why you needed to test this ..." Luckily for me, Meg was much more unassuming :)
I made calls to family and another handful of friends the next week after the
first appointment had gone well and we had seen the heartbeat, and then for the most part, we didn't really tell anyone until we sent out our Christmas cards ... complete with a signature wishing "Happy Holidays from Tim, Kristin and Baby Wolfrum (due Aug. 3, 2010)" and included a copy of the ultrasound as "baby's first photo." The reactions to *that* were rather enjoyable as well :)
