We need to find a new way to vacation

We've lived in Florida for almost six years. For those six years, the majority of our vacation time and money has gone to taking trips to Ohio to visit family. A small percentage has been used to take time off to entertain friends who have come to visit us, and an equally small percentage has been used to go on actual vacations not involving Ohio. This isn't the best situation. While I'm grateful that we have the means to take time off of work and buy plane tickets to Ohio, it's not a vacation in the typical sense. It *can* be restful and relaxing, but more often, for Tim and I, it's stressful, busy and leaves us feeling like we still didn't do everything or see everyone we wanted to see. We have a few days two or three times a year to squeeze in 365 days worth of visiting with family and hanging out with friends. We spend a lot of time in a car. Now that we have Elle, we feel ever more pulled to spend time with family and need to schedule around nap times and bed times, and the amount of time, money and effort involved in a trip has tripled. Elle is an easy going traveler, but it is still an ordeal.

With my new job, my vacation time has been drastically reduced. We knew that a non-Ohio trip would be highly unlikely this year, and we have one big Ohio trip planned for the fall, but that was the extent of our planned travels. But Tim's mom is retiring this year after a 40-year teaching career, and her retirement dinner was held last week. I desperately wanted to come home for a visit and had the opportunity to get away from work for a few days this week. So we decided to take a trip to Ohio. But of course it couldn't be as easy as just "taking a trip to Ohio."

At Grandma's retirement dinner.

Tim and Elle flew in on Thursday and drove to Tim's hometown for the retirement dinner. They successfully surprised Grandma and then spent the next day with family. I flew in to an airport on the other side of the state on Friday night. On Saturday, we met almost halfway to do an Elle handoff. We were fortunate that the timing of our fairly impromptu Ohio trip coincided with a dear friend's trip to Ohio, so we got to meet up with Meghan and Mike and meet Ryan.

Ohio brings everyone together.

 Tim and I hadn't seen Meg and Mike since August 2009. Before that, I think Meghan and I had seen each other at least once a year since 2001, including three times in 2008, when we both got married. So we were looonnnngggg overdue. We had both had kids in that time frame - kids who obviously needed to meet.

After lunch, Tim returned to his side of the state, and Elle and I headed east to see my family. So on our "vacation" in Ohio, Tim, Elle and I spent 90 minutes together. Before I left, one of my coworkers remarked on the fact that Tim and I see so little of each other when we're home because of our opposite shifts that it seemed semi-natural that we would vacation together-but-separately as well. Trust me, this is not ideal, and we're hoping that we don't have to do it again. The good thing is that we both got to see our families and Elle got a lengthy visit with family she doesn't get to see often. And Tim was on vacation all week, so I got to see him in the evenings, when he would normally be at work. But the rest of the situation? Not my favorite thing ever. Anyway ...

Aunt Marti (wearing birthday crown on her 35th birthday!) watches Elle,
who was searching for one of Marti's cats under the bed. Ginger knows
enough to hide when Elle is around, even in the new house.

Elle and I spent the next few days with my family, including another road trip on Sunday to see my sister and her new house. Tim was supposed to fly back to Florida on Sunday but only made it as far as Atlanta before being stranded in the airport overnight because his flight had been delayed and he missed his connection. He flew out the next morning, but we're both less than pleased with his Delta experience, and they WILL be hearing about it. Tim has vowed to never fly again, which could further complicate the whole visits-to-Ohio issue, but we'll revisit that at a later date.

On Monday, Elle and I spent the day with my family and then got together with one of my close friends from high school and her son, who is about a year younger than Elle.

The expressions on these two crack me up.

Elle has been enjoying her encounters with new friends as well as lots of fresh air, new-to-her toys and being spoiled rotten by doting grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends. She traveled well with Tim on the way up, and she's been a trooper with all of the long car rides across the state.

My 14-year-old brother accumulated a pretty awesome Thomas the Train set when he was younger.
Elle took full advantage of it and begged to play with the trains and tracks every day.

Hanging out with Uncle Doug.

She's even been sleeping fairly well at night, although I think she's longing for the comfort of her crib. Last night, though, she woke up at 3, which was entirely too early to start the day (6, maybe, 7, sure, but 3? NO WAY). I rocked her for a few minutes, then told her it was time to go back to sleep. Half an hour later, I heard her cry out again. This time, when I picked her up, I could tell something was wrong. It was dark, but I could tell she had been sick. I held her again, and she drifted off, but about thirty minutes later she started to squirm, and then she threw up again. This is only our second encounter with Elle vomit, and I'm not the best at dealing with these kinds of situations. We got up, and I prayed that this was just some small upset stomach incident and not some full-blown virus or bug that would affect our trip back to Florida tomorrow.

Our last full day in the state was spent at home, loosely following the BRAT diet and making sure she drank lots of liquids. We canceled the evening plans we had with a friend, and thankfully, Elle seemed to be nearly 100% almost immediately. After running back and forth through my parents' kitchen from 4 a.m. until 5 a.m. while my mom and brother slept and my dad prepared for work, I finally got her to crash on the living room floor with me. When we woke up a few hours later, she seemed absolutely fine. We're still taking it slow on her stomach, but I think something just wasn't sitting right with her and she's good to go now.

Elle sitting with my dad on "G's bicycle." She calls it "Suki" (short for Suzuki).
When she was prancing around the kitchen this morning at 4:30 a.m.,she was talking about this
and was super excited when my dad got home from work and brought it out for her to see.

We'll be reunited with Tim tomorrow, and I'll return to work the next day. It's been a good visit, but the general overtones of having too much to cram in to never-enough-time are definitely present, and it was less than ideal that we had our time split up (although I'm grateful that Tim didn't have Elle with him the night he got stuck spending the night in the airport).

Spending time with Grams.

And as always, it's hard to leave - it's hard knowing I didn't get to see Tim's family on this trip, didn't get to spend much time with friends, wasn't able to spend much time with my sister. It's also extremely difficult to watch Elle and my family get so close in such a short period of time and then have to take her back to Florida and know that it will be several months before we see each other again. I could go on and on, but basically, it's hard living so far away from family, not just logistically and financially, but emotionally, too. Technology allows for frequent phone calls and video chats, but there are some things that just can't be replicated.

31.

Today is my birthday (I've got less than half an hour to go). For weeks, I have told Tim that I wanted to go to the zoo on my birthday, to which he replied "But we ALWAYS go to the zoo on your birthday!" I like to think he's referring to my 25th birthday, when we actually did go to the zoo, and not a year like last year, when we flew to Colorado and spent a weekend with my family.

His comment (and my nostalgic view on aging) got me thinking, though, about how different and sometimes memorable my birthdays have been. In elementary school, my mom had several of my closest friends over for parties, and we would do crafts, be silly and open presents.

I think this was my 7th birthday party.
And true story: I've kept in touch with all of the girls in this photo.

Birthdays through the end of elementary school and middle school don't really stick out much in my mind (probably mostly cuz I'm old now). But in high school, I remember group birthday parties - most notably with my friend Jen, who was born five days before me, and our friend Megan, who was born five days after me. Our circle of friends would come out and celebrate with us - we'd usually go out for dinner and a movie. We were a tight bunch, so we didn't need to do anything exciting - it was just fun to all be out together celebrating, joking about our Honors English class or the latest project in our German class, or even planning details for prom, which was only a few weeks away.

College brought to my attention the unfortunate timing of my birthday: Finals week. We still managed to celebrate, though, often taking a study break to go out for a few hours. My nearest and dearest cleared their study schedules for my 21st birthday, when I realized the plus to the timing of my birthday meant that the bars were almost empty, as people were holed up studying for finals. Score!

After graduation from college, I moved around a bit, from job to job and state to state. Tim and I have been dating since I was 23, but we dated long-distance for about three years before both moving to Florida, so he wasn't always able to be there on my actual birthday. On my 24th birthday, I bought my first car. I don't recommend doing that, as I was stressed out beyond belief on my birthday and felt bad for my friend Sarah, who was visiting me for the weekend and got sucked in to the car drama.

At the Pittsburgh Zoo with my birthday
celebration buddies, Jen and Megan.

My quarter-century celebration was quite memorable, as I was living in Pittsburgh - my favoritest city EVER. I had a work schedule that allowed for a social life, so I actually had friends in the city. And Pittsburgh was close enough to where I had grown up that many of my high school and college besties were able to attend the festivities, too. I planned a day to remember - we went to the Pittsburgh Zoo, then went to the river front for dinner and drinks at the Hard Rock Cafe, and then we rode a ferry over to PNC Park to catch a Pirates game. It was awesome.

Oh, Magic Kingdom.

On my 28th birthday, Tim and I took advantage of a promotional offer at Disney - Florida residents got in to the park of their choice on their birthday. Since Disney is within comfortable driving distance and we only had to buy Tim's admission, we hopped over to Orlando for the day.

My 29th birthday was spent working two jobs and being 26.5 weeks pregnant. My 30th birthday, as previously mentioned, was spent in Colorado with my family. The traveling part kinda stunk, as I was motion sick and altitude sick on my actual birthday, but the weekend was fun. We were pretty much snowed in, but the place we stayed in was awesome and it was very cool to hang out with my family, which included my 10-month old niece and Elle, who was nine months old.

We're not in Florida anymore.

And then this year, we went to the zoo. I've been to the Lowry Park Zoo two other times, I think, but I read Zoo Story earlier this year and have been wanting to go back ever since. It was hot, but not as hot as it will be in a month or two, and Elle is at an age where she really got in to it. We've been talking about the animals she'd see, she's been demonstrating the animals noises and she was super excited. It was a blast, but exhausting :) And in the end, she enjoyed the animals, especially the monkeys, fish and tigers, but she loved the water areas the most.

Checking out the tigers.

This was quite an adventure.

After our day at the zoo, we went out to dinner, where I enjoyed a glass of wine, some yummy pizza and free birthday baklava :) Because my eating was less than stellar today, I then headed to the gym to squeeze in a quick treadmill workout before coming home and basically being a vegetable.

Basically, my birthday weekend was pretty sweet. Tim let me sleep in yesterday, and today I opened cards and presents, was relieved from chores, was showered in Facebook notifications, texts and calls, and know that Elle will sleep extremely well tonight.

I loved my day - it was nearly perfect. And it brought to my attention that a) maybe I SHOULD go to the zoo every year, b) my life is quite different from that last zoo trip, from where I live to where I work to the fact that I'm now a wife and mother, c) I like dedicating the day (or, in the case of last year, the long weekend) to spending the day with family and friends and d) I'm very lucky to have such amazing friends and family who have spent so many of my birthdays with me, either in actual attendance or in spirit and cheer. Here's to my 31st year - I'm hoping it's a great one!

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Or, you know, What I'm Loving Early Thursday :)

My Fitness Pal. I've been using this site to log my workouts and daily food intake for the last few weeks. I like the supportive community and the ease of use - tracking calories on the site reminds me a lot of counting points when I was on Weight Watchers. Anything that makes losing weight/toning up/being a bit healthier a better, more positive experience is a plus in my book.

Talenti gelato. This stuff is amazing. Also, expensive. But! For the cost of a DQ Blizzard, we get 3-4 servings (you know, unless we finish off the container in one sitting, which sometimes never happens) and it occasionally goes on sale. There are often coupons on the Talenti Facebook page as well. I am pretty sure we've tried everything flavor at least once. We love the Caramel Cookie Crunch. When we're not sharing, though, I love the Sea Salt Caramel, and Tim loves the Roman Raspberry.

Ruffles. This makes me think of potato chips. Mmmmm ... But no. I mean ruffles, like on clothes. Tops, specifically. I'm not one to be stylish or pick up on fashion trends, but I love that ruffles add a touch of classed-up style to my comfy, casual tops (I'm looking at you, Ann Taylor and Old Navy), making it easy to wear for work or play. Bonus points go to the fact that they're flattering, too, for my I-had-a-baby-and-my-belly-has-always-been-a-fat-globbing-magnet insecurities. Instead, they say "Look at these pretty ruffles! Pretty, pretty ruffles! I can be worn with jeans, shorts or slacks! Pretty ruffles!" 

The FAO Schwarz Elephant Walker. A friend has this walker for her daughter (her daughter is two weeks older than Elle and is quite the proficient walker). We knew that Elle would need something to help steady her whenever she decides to start walking, and I just wasn't sold on any of the musical, plastic products that I was researching. And, as Tim pointed out, we have toys that play music, light up, have multiple activities, etc. My biggest concern was that the plastic ones might not be sturdy enough to support the weight of a truly fledgling walker, and I didn't want Elle to face plant just because the walker slipped out from under her. We had originally planned to borrow the walker from my friend, but we were out shopping for Elle's birthday on Sunday and found it at Toys 'R Us ... for $30-40 cheaper than what I'd seen online. Sooooo ... we bought it. And love it. Elle likes to "knee walk" with it, but she's also tried to shuffle behind it a few times. I like that it's cute (elle-phant!), sturdy (will last for this kid, future kids and beyond), educational (fun little blocks on the front) and has a little storage area. We have carpeted floor, and it's worked extremely well for us.

Cherry Chomper. My sister introduced this cherry pit remover to my youngest brother in early July, and when we were in Ohio a few weeks ago, my mom insisted that I have one, too. I've never been big on cherries, mostly because I don't like fruit that requires work. This has been fun, though, and Tim, our designated Cherry Chomper, likes to explain to me to me how it works, step-by-step, as he "makes cherries." We discovered that Elle loves cherries, too, so it's nice that we don't have to worry about pits for her.

Seeing old friends. The trip to Ohio started it - the reuniting with friends I have known for decades. Friends who have seen my through some of my most formative times. I love that I still have a close circle of friends from high school, college and past jobs, and tomorrow (well, later today) I get to see a friend that I haven't seen since my wedding 2.5 years ago. He'll get to meet Elle, too. I heart seeing old friends.

Realizations of the past week

 I am no longer 24, and working 10 days in a row is both mentally and physically exhausting.

It is almost June. (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!?)

I'm very unfamiliar with having Saturdays off. This is the first time I'll regularly not work Saturdays since May 2006, aside from maternity leave last year.

I'm truly disheartened by the cost of plane tickets (as well as gas prices, airport parking fees and checked baggage costs), and I think it has made me apathetic about planning our summer trip. I've done some flight research, but the airport I want to fly out of is way more expensive, and the cheaper option isn't really cheap and isn't very convenient. And then there is the coordinating the visiting of two sides of a state. Ah, the joys of getting older and living far away from all of your family ...

My tiny 10-month-old daughter is a bottomless pit. 

When she eats blueberries, her poop is black.

Nursing said daughter sometimes feels like I'm wrestling a 20-pound monkey. There is too much to do! So much to see! So many ways to contort!

Clapping while nursing is a super cute thing to witness ... but totally inappropriate and unappreciated at 4 a.m.

Let's keep the clapping
to the daytime, missy.

I have finally been sucked in to the universe known as Pinterest. I'm still learning my way around, but I know that this spells D-A-N-G-E-R. (If you need an invite, let me know so I can suck you in, too! Muah hahahaha!)

True friends aren't always the oldest friends.

Old friends aren't always true friends.

Sometimes all it takes to right the universe is a phone call or lunch date with a true friend - and suddenly everything seems much more manageable and in perspective.

It should be illegal for Florida to be this hot and humid in May.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've selected Elle's future best friend and future husband. Luckily, their mothers are in agreement with my choices, and I think things will go swimmingly for our little ones :) Elle's husband has the most beautiful smile and eyelashes I've ever seen in a baby that isn't Elle, and her best friend has a similar name and is two weeks older than her. They'll have joint birthday parties and share monogrammed gifts, and everyone will live happily ever after. 

Sunday afternoons are awesome for working out at the gym for two reasons: 1. The gym is nearly empty and 2. The movies on TV (The Parent Trap, Legally Blonde 2, Father of the Bride) are great for distracting me while I run :)

I have entirely much more to blog about than I have time to blog.

We are extremely blessed to have this little one in our lives:

Wheeee, blog award!

Valli, the fabulous writer behind The Eminent Stylings of Tenacious V, has awarded me my first blogging award! Thanks, Valli :) I've known Valli since our junior year of college (when we sat in Dr. E's newswriting class, I think?) and fought to stay awake/sane. She was one of the fabulous dormmates mentioned (and now that I've updated the post with a photo, pictured) here. We spent plenty of time together in the wee hours of the morning putting out the university's newspaper as well. It's been great to reconnect and follow her path through post-college life (including motherhood!) not only on Facebook but also on her blog.

Valli has awarded the Versatile Blogger Award to me and my little corner of cyberspace.

Here are the rules:
*Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
*Tell us seven things about yourself.
*Award fifteen recently discovered new bloggers.
*Contact these bloggers and let them know they've received their award.


My seven things (I tried to think of some very random, not widely known points about myself, but I apologize if they're woefully lame!):

1. I love to cross-stitch. For a while (mostly from college until about a year after I was married), I was constantly stitching samplers for close friends and family members to mark their weddings or births of children. I'm currently working on one (slowly, but surely) to record Elle's birth details.

2. I have an intense fear of having my pelvis broken.

3. I never flew until I was 23, when I flew from Kalamazoo to Pittsburgh for a job interview. Now I fly 3-5 times a year, and Elle will have at least five trips under her belt by the time she's 14 months old.

4. I dated Tim's cousin Jeff before I dated Tim. Tim actually set us up. Our "first date" was Jeff, me and Tim at Damon's. Romantic, eh? :) Tim is almost 13 years older than me, and at the time, neither of us thought the other was romantically interested in the other, and Tim thought there was no way I'd date someone that much older. Tim deemed Jeff and I a perfect match because we were about the same age and "equally lame." (Yes, I'm serious.) So Jeff and I went on a few dates, and he's an awesome guy, but I knew that I really had feelings for Tim. (And eventually, when I told Tim this and he confessed that he felt the same way, HE was in the awkward position of explaining to Jeff "Hey man, I know I fixed you up with Kristin, but we're kinda going to see if there might be something there between us, OK?" at the family's Thanksgiving dinner.) I honestly thought the whole family was going to hate me and things were going to be awkward for Tim forever (he and his cousins are pretty close). But now we all joke about it. For a while, the running line was that "so-and-so was 'next'" to date me. I absolutely adore Jeff's wife - we get along really well and enjoy picking on Jeff and Tim. And Tim and I love spending time with Tim's cousins and their wives.

5. Tim and I broke up twice while dating. We long-distanced dated for almost three years (living anywhere from 2.5 to 5 hours apart until I moved to Florida and he joined me two months later) at the beginning of our relationship. I broke up with him once, he broke up with me once. Both times were for about two months. Luckily, we saw the error of our ways and reconciled both times - and now, the rest is history!

6. I never drank alcohol until the day I turned 21. Like, not even a sip. Mostly because I've always been a) a goody-two-shoes and b) stubborn. Once I was close to making it to my 21st birthday without major temptation, I figured I should just hold out so I could say I'd done it and it would make the actual birthday much cooler. It was definitely one of my most memorable birthdays, full of good friends and lots of laughter, and although I had four mixed drinks and four shots over the course of the night, I wasn't wasted at all, thank goodness. We spread it out over a long period of time and had plenty of food along the way :)

7. We had hermit crabs as pets when my siblings and I were younger. I used to name mine after my favorite baseball players. At one point, a crab I'd named after then-Seattle Mariners players Alex Rodriguez and Joey Cora stopped moving for a few days. I chalked it up for molting, a normal, skin-shedding process for hermit crabs, and waited for him to come back to life, renewed. After a few weeks, I knew it wasn't just molting. He was dead. I buried him in the woods behind our house and painted a rock, writing out his full name (which I can no longer remember, but it was something like Alexander Joey Cora something something Rodriguez) on it as his headstone.

Now, 15 fantastic blogs I've discovered in the last six months or so:

BeakTweets

Country is a State of Mind

Our Little Lifesicle

It's a dog lick baby world

E-Tells-Tales 

Stilettos and Diapers

Angie All the Way

Loving the little things

Life on the Terrace

Domestic Jenny

Wilson's (almost) Irish Twins

Two Boksen Babies

Krystal's Kitsch

Littlest True Blue

The Power of the Pink Lines

Down

My college roommate came to visit this past Saturday. She had surprised her mom, who lives about an hour north of me, with a visit from Ohio, and we always try to get together when she's in the state. Kristine and her daughter, Josephine, hung out with Elle and I for the morning and then we headed to get some lunch. I joked several times that our daughters will be college roommates some day :) It was SO nice to catch up with Kristine, spend time with a girlfriend who has known me for (eek) more than a dozen years and just be comfortable, relaxed. Even with two youngsters there (Joey is just 10 months older than Elle), it was easy and fun. Actually, maybe because there were two youngsters there. I realized that a day like this with friends who don't have kids might not happen, because they wouldn't understand why conversation halted when one kid tore in to a jelly packet, or why departure was rushed because one kid was whining the needs-a-nap-desperation-clock-is-winding-down whine. I know I didn't get it before Elle. I wasn't entirely clueless, but I didn't GET it. Now, I do.

The day with Kristine was great. But then I had to go to work that night.

And this is where my mood turns sour. I have a more upbeat version of this post started, but I'm definitely not in the mind frame to finish it with the same optimism that I started. And before I get too pity party-ish, know that I am extremely thankful for what I have - a husband, a daughter, a home, a job, all of the blessings in life that many are forced to go without. I know many people have it worse than me, and to some, my whining might seem shallow. But still, it's something that affects me greatly, and I need to vent and express some of my frustration.

The visit with Kristine reminded me of all of the nights we spent in our dorm, being silly, serious, whatever - compared to life now, we had few responsibilities, and we had a built-in social network. The seventh floor of our dorm yielded a tight bunch - many of us are still in touch, we've had reunions, we attend each other's weddings and baby showers. The memories we made seven and eight years ago, though, are what I flashed back to ... the hot chocolate in the hallway, the trips to the bars, the walks to the student center to study, the borrowing of clothes, the Friday night dinners. The friendship. The laughter. The knowledge that you were one knock away from a friend - or four - when you needed one.

Part of our fun dorm group, circa 2002.

Flash forward to something that been eating away at me for the last year or two - the lack of those very things. I don't think you can understand the life we lead unless you've done it yourself. You can imagine it, you can commiserate with it, you can complain about it on my behalf, but you can't understand unless you've been there. And maybe your situation is worse, but this is my blog so I'm gonna whine here :)

I am fortunate enough to have many good friends where we live. We've been here almost five years, and through our jobs and other outlets, we've established a solid support system of friends. The problem isn't having the friends - it's the getting to spend time with friends and develop those friendships. It's an issue that existed long before I was married, long before Elle was in our lives. Bottom line: It can be challenging to socialize with friends who work days when you work nights. Friends who spend time with their families on the weekends ... when you're working, anyway. Friends who live 30-60 minutes away - because you work 40 minutes from home and many of your closest friends are coworkers. Heck, it's a struggle to catch up with some of my friends from high school and college - because they're working when I'm home, and vice versa, so even a phone call is a challenge.

Getting time to spend with my husband can also  be a hefty task. For quite a while, we were working opposite shifts. Then we were working opposite days and sometimes opposite shifts. Then it switched back to opposite shifts again, and to save on childcare needs and costs, we're back to opposite days off, which is great because Elle is with one of us four days a week ... but awful because we rarely have a day off with all three of us. It's a choice we've made, but not a fun one. And we're both working weekends. And nights. And that means that in order to go out, by ourselves or with friends, on a "normal" schedule, we'd have to take off work, pay for a sitter, miss out on precious time with Elle and then add in gas/entertainment/etc. costs. Maternity leave was a dream - we could "play" the role of married couple with child, working 10-6, Monday through Friday. But then I went back to work, 3 p.m. to midnight, Wednesday through Sunday. Then Tim's schedule changed to nights with his promotion.

Now, we try to squeeze as much family time as possible out of the mornings and afternoons, but Tim usually heads in to work around 1 or 2 p.m. When we actually have a day off together, Tim and I often like to soak up as much "Mommy, Daddy and Elle" time as possible. We definitely like to go on dates and know how terribly important it is for our relationship and our family. Tim and I were "Tim and I" long before Elle, and it's important to us that we don't lose that as our family grows. But because of our ever-changing schedules, it hasn't happened much lately. We also try to make sure the other person gets "me" time - but again, that's a challenge when we have such opposite schedules. Usually, we trade off mornings and go to the gym/get haircuts/run errands during that time, before the other has to go to work or the babysitter arrives.

Between the distance, the timing and the money, we don't have a lot of options. I'm not the most social person in the world - I don't need to go out every weekend or get lunch with friends every week. I'll choose ordering in and renting a movie 9 out of 10 times. But I'm human - I miss those social interactions, with friends and my husband, and that one out of 10 times, I'd enjoy a movie at the theater, a baseball game, a night with friends at a bar. And for work purposes, do you know how hard it is to find a babysitter who will come watch your child in your home on Friday *and* Saturday night? (Don't worry - I have a blog post started that will tell you alllll about it.) Any night daycares in the area aren't open on Saturdays, and we don't require full-time childcare, but we also don't want to have our baby sleeping in someone else's home until we stop by after work and wake her up at midnight to take her home, only to put her back to bed.

When I get down like this, I try to focus on a few things: 1. It could be worse. 2. It kicks my butt in gear to try to change things. 3. It likely won't always be like this. 4. There *are* perks of my schedule: It's easy to get to the post office, doctor's appointments, library, grocery store and to make phone calls without having to take away from work time or battle crowds. I'm able to be with Elle for large portions of her awake time. I'm able to attend my mid-afternoon mommy/baby group. And although longer than I'd like, my commute is fairly easy, especially at the completely off-peak hour of 12:30 a.m., and provides me ample time for mindless audiobook-listening. I used to be a morning person, now I'm a night owl who is forced to be functional in the morning.

I wouldn't trade Tim or Elle for the world, but I wouldn't mind if some of the other parts of life changed for the better. We both work because a) we have billz and b) we have goals that require money to achieve, so we push on. But as I push 30 (gasp!), I realize that I never imagined working nights and weekends forever. I keep trying to keep the faith (see: unpublished, positive blog post on a topic like this), but it's hard when so many of my other friends have the slightly social life I crave; the steady, regular schedule that is compatible with their loved ones' schedule; an "easy" childcare solution; a close network of family and friends less than 1,000 miles away. It's a different, far cry away from those carefree days of doing my hair in a bathroom with my three other suitemates milling around, talking about the details of our dinner plans that night or who would be the designated driver that weekend.

I'm not asking to go back to that time - certainly, I loved those years, but I've loved the journey I've been on since then. I'm just looking for a glimmer of hope that current circumstances will change, allow for more family time, more friend time.

A special day

Today is my good friend Jen's wedding day. Jen and I have known each other since middle school and shared many special memories through high school (photo at right is from our senior year at LHS) and college. We were in German class together, served as officers of German Club and National Honors Society together, went to the same church, took the same advanced placement and honors classes, attended colleges about an hour apart, shared an intense love of Walmart and have very similar morals and values. Her family essentially adopted me the weekend of senior prom, when my family attended my sister's college graduation. Our birthdays are five days apart, so we often celebrated them jointly.

Me, Jen and Megan, a good friend who happens to have a birthday five days after mine, celebrating our quarter-century mark at the Pittsburgh Zoo.

Jen was in my wedding two years ago and went to a reunion for her college honor fraternity that night, where she connected with Mark, who would become her fiance about eight months later. Soon after Jen got engaged last summer, she asked me to be a bridesmaid, and I excitedly agreed.

When Tim and I found out we were expecting, I didn't think it would create any issue except that I'd be uh, the wee bit larger member of the bridal party. But after we met with the doctor and our pregnancy progressed, it became clear that the timing was a *little* tight. Because we didn't know what would happen with the pregnancy - mainly, if there would be any complications - I decided that I probably shouldn't be a definite in the bridal party, because I couldn't know for sure that I'd be able to be there. I planned to attend as a guest, but I didn't want Jen to worry about whether she'd have me as a bridesmaid or not. When I brought the wedding up at one of our first prenatal visits, the doctor warned me that it was right on the cut-off of when he recommends/allows plane travel (34 weeks). Many airlines won't even allow pregnant women to fly after 34 or 36 weeks without a note from their doctor, so I knew he wasn't being ridiculously, well, ridiculous.

In the Gulf of Mexico, summer 2008.

But I held out hope that I'd at least be able to attend as a guest. At our appointment after my trip to Ohio for Jen's shower and bachelorette party (when I also had my baby shower), however, we asked the doctor again about mid-June travel. Although I've had a fairly uncomplicated pregnancy, the doctor was concerned that it was too close to the no-travel cutoff, and while he wouldn't give me a straight "yes, you're allowed" or "no, you're not allowed" answer, he made it pretty clear that *he* wouldn't do it, and he didn't recommend it. He didn't think anything would happen on the flights, but he worried about me going in to labor while in Ohio.

At Jen's bridal shower in April!

Tim and I talked about it a lot, and in the end, we knew that as much as I wanted to be there for Jen's big day, I'd never forgive myself if something happened to the baby. It was a really emotional decision (Tim is getting to be quite the pro at trying to comfort his sobbing, pregnant wife), and when I told Jen, she was very understanding about it and completely understood that I was making the decision I felt necessary for me and Elle.

I know deep down that this was the best decision for our growing family, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm missing a huge day in the life of a close friend. It doesn't change the fact that once again, living far away from our friends and family has created some tough choices. But ultimately, I'm there in spirit and can't wait to hear all about it and see the millions of pictures I expect everyone to take :)

I sent Jen a package with little gifts to open on the 12 days leading up to her wedding. We've talked a lot this week, and I've been keeping tabs on when the pedicure appointments are, when the hair is being done, when the vows are being said and when the photos are being taken :) She's doing a cookie table at her wedding, like we did, and I sent Strawberry Cake Mix Coolers as a Florida contribution :) Jen sent me a package to open on the day of the rehearsal dinner, full of adorable, thoughtful bridesmaid gifts, like flip flops, a photo frame, a super sweet card and a gorgeous tote bag. Today I'm wearing the necklace she sent, too.

Jen, I am so, so happy for you and Mark and wish you both a lifetime of love and laughter. I wish I could have been there with you today, and I hope your special day goes perfectly and is everything you hoped for and more!

Lunch with friends

On Tuesday, Tim and I went to St. Pete Beach before work to meet some friends for lunch. (We ate at the Hurricane, a restaurant we've taken many of our out-of-town visitors to ...)


Aaron, a former Bradenton coworker of Tim's, and his wife, Sarah, and Sarah's sister were in town from Michigan, where Aaron and Sarah now go to school at MSU. They moved from St. Petersburg last summer, so it was great to see them again and catch up on life. Tim and Aaron are already plotting a northern reunion - they have a bromance that cannot be stopped (a joke that Sarah and I never let go).

Ohio trip: Kristin's photos

Here are photos from my camera, Marti's camera and Allison's camera:

It's shower day!



Tim and I:

Tim gives the shower a thumbs up:

Angie and Barb:

Our old Louisville neighborhood: Mom, Marti, me, Lindsey and Gloria.

Me and Claudia, my old journalism camp friend and former Kent State suitemate:

The LHS Five: Jen, Carol, me, Sara, Megan.

The gorgeous wreath from Kay and Amanda that Kay made:

At Bar Louie with some high school band friends - Lindsey, Lyndsey and Teren.

Dinner at P.F. Changs with my sister!

Tim at the Canton/Akron airport, sad because we have to leave Ohio:

Welcome!

I feel like there's a lot going on in our lives down here that we aren't able to share with our families and friends. I read a lot of wedding planning blogs, food blogs, random blogs, etc. and felt like it might be a good idea for us to have one, too. We'll try to post frequently - about wedding planning, weird/special events in our lives, our daily lives and so on.

This will likely be a sporadic forum, but we hope you enjoy it, follow it and comment on it!

-Kristin