Christmas 2013: (More Than) Slightly Belated

Even though things were crazy this holiday season with a wee Wesley, lots of stuff going on at work for Tim and I and the regular hectic day-to-day stuff, we made sure to get in plenty of holiday events, observances and traditions. I felt like the whole month of December was a blur (we even celebrated Tim's 45th birthday during the holiday craziness!), but we definitely created memories and had a lot of fun.

It was Wesley's first Christmas, so that was fun, but it was also the first year that Elle really "got" what was going on. This was good in that she started to ask questions about Jesus' birthday and got excited about all of the stuff going on, but bad in that she decided that Santa was bringing her pretty much every toy ever for Christmas. Wesley didn't know what was going on at all, but both he and Elle got some awesome gifts and spent a large part of the day opening presents from family members and friends across the country. Not a bad holiday at all :)

And now for a recap in mostly photographic form:

Making salt dough ornaments:

Decorating/eating our gingerbread house!

Elle admires/eats her work.

Visiting a spectacular light display at a church in Sarasota - they have an amazing light show timed to Christmas music as well as hot chocolate, wagon rides and other attractions. A friend from church invited us to go with her family, and it was awesome and intense.

We decorated the tree! Elle was a bit obsessed with the placement of our fake candy canes.

Elle developed an intense love for hot chocolate.

Santa and Mrs. Claus came in via helicopter and landed at a local park. Elle wasn't interested in meeting Santa, but we did participate in some of the other activities.

Watching Santa's helicopter land.

Florida girl, playing in the snow!

Face painting made Elle a sweaty little Rudolph.

We couldn't let Christmas pass without the chance to meet Santa, though. We figured Elle might be more comfortable meeting the big guy in a smaller setting, and when we heard about the Gulf Coast Animal League hosting a "Meet Santa" for kids and pets, we took advantage of the opportunity. We got to support a great cause, check out some cool holiday decorations and meet Santa! Elle was a little shy but did better than the last few years, and Wesley just went with it, outfit and all.

If you can't do this for your first Christmas, when can you?!

Elle mostly just told Santa what Wesley wanted.

We attended my company's holiday party - Tim is usually not able to attend because of high school football playoffs, but this year the stars aligned and he was able to come for the whole thing :)

We're silly, but fun!

Photobombed by our 16-year-old coworker.

Yay!

There were sibling photos ops by the tree, of course.

   

And Santa came and left lots of presents for a certain little girl and boy. Elle kept asking for a flashlight puppy, a doll stroller and a camera. She insisted that Wesley wanted a "Skit" - aka "Scout," the companion to her "Violet" stuffed animal.

Hopefully I'm not missing any big events or details, but there you have it - four months late, but our 2013 Christmas recap! Stay tuned for another trip in the way-back machine, when I recap our Halloween trip to Disney and explain how I made Wesley's super easy, carpet-ruining unique costume :)

A sibling splash

There's several reasons why the blog has been nearly silent over the last nine months. I'd like to address two of those reasons: Elle and Wesley.

While they're part of why I haven't blogged as much lately, they're the two biggest reasons why I am determined to get some key posts up - from an update on what Elle's been up to lately to a roundup of what we did at Christmas this year (I never said the posts were timely!), I have always used this space as a diary/scrapbook of sorts. And I hate that there are already gaps in the short history of my little family.

I wanted to capture a pivotal moment from last weekend before it escaped me. But first, some background:

I am one of four siblings. Tim is one of two. I always felt that I wanted to have more than one kid, but I was quick to mentally reign in my "Oh yes, three or four, for sure" to "Two would be good" after logically considering factors like finances, Tim's age, my sanity, etc. If Wesley had been a girl, there was a good chance we might have gone for No. 3 to see if we could add some male offspring to our brood.

And while this might be kind of illogical based on my previous statement, I resent the fact that people (both those who know us and complete strangers) assume we're done with two because we have "a perfect set." As if not having a boy and a girl somehow makes things less perfect. I've internally bristled at the "perfect pair" comments, because while it definitely contributed to our decision to stop at two, we weren't going to continue trying to have kids until we achieved a certain gender or number of "sets." Three is a lot more fathomable than five, six or "however many it takes to get a boy." It's true that we're done-zo on the procreation front, but my prevailing thought on stopping now is that we have two beautiful, healthy children. We can provide for them and enjoy life as a family of four. Our life feels complete now, and while I am in awe of the whole experience of creating, carrying and delivering these tiny beings, I've been fortunate enough to do it twice without any huge issue or complication. I'm thankful for that and always will be.

All that aside, having two kids is much, much harder than I ever expected. I know I've mentioned it, but those first few months had me wondering what we'd gotten ourselves in to. I'm sure having two small children is tough enough, but we're also 1,000 miles away from family and working opposite schedules, so adjusting and juggling things have been HARD. Emotionally and physically, I've been exhausted. For so long, I felt like I was constantly attending to a demanding newborn and therefore neglecting the needs of my oldest child. The guilt of that was heavy, even though I knew it was necessary and Elle wasn't going to grow up damaged just because I couldn't respond to her every request immediately for the first few months of her brother's life.

As Wesley has gotten older and slightly more independent, things have gotten easier to balance. I can actually make dinner while he sits nearby, happily playing, instead of trying to throw together a meal one-handed while he screamed. He's got a more predictable nap schedule, so we're not dealing with as many missed naps or car snoozes to get him shakily through another day. In general, he's a much happier, steady baby than he was 5-6 months ago.

On the downside, though, because he's nearly crawling and in to absolutely everything, Elle is constantly threatened by the stealthy baby swiping her stuff.  When she swipes it back, Wesley seems utterly confused as to why his previously perfect little universe has been rocked. (Welcome to the rest of your life, kids.) We know she loves him, though - she recently told us we couldn't get rid of him "because I yove him!"

I'm sure if we were to have more kids, we would adjust to life as "a family of ..." and soon feel like things had never been different. As it stands now, it's hard to remember life before Elle, and before Wesley. (Not impossible, as I often daydream of quiet mornings and solo shopping trips, but those are tradeoffs I happily accept in exchange for cuddles, giggles and priceless memories.) I'm told, and can easily understand, that adding a third or fourth kid is much easier than going from one to two. I'm still not super interested in doing it myself, but I can see the logic.

One of the ways things have gotten easier as Wesley has gotten older and gained basic skills (like sitting) is that I no longer have to juggle two baths. For the first few times of their dual bath, Wesley spent his entire bath grinning like an idiot, looking at me like "This is the best. thing. ever." The kid idolizes his big sister (although his adoration for our cats has recently taken priority over anyone and anything else). Elle kept asking me "Can the baby get out now?" Even though she spent the entire bathtime glaring at him (and me) as she repeatedly gathered up and cornered off all of the bath toys, Wesley was in absolute heaven. It gave me a glimpse of what life will be like for these two, almost exactly three years apart, as they grow up.

Although the initially awestruck reaction has waned, Wesley has still always enjoyed dual baths more than Elle, who has begrudgingly accepted that she has to share tub real estate every night. The bath ritual has become a sigh of relief for me, allowing them to entertain themselves for a while before we start preparing for bed. I try to keep the splashing to a minimum, play life guard to Wesley's unsteadiness and referee the bath toy hoarding by Elle, but it's a much more pleasant experience for all of us these days. Wesley's worst moods have always been cured by the bath, and as we've delved in to solid food, the need for a bath immediately after dinner has become vital.

Last weekend, we had a definite sibling turning point, as bath time was all giggles and splashing. As much as I hate getting covered in water, I just laughed as they copied each other, feeding off each other's squeals and claps over and over, and I permitted more splashing than my OCD-self can normally handle (water on the bathroom floor drives me a tad nutso). And then:

"Can he stay? I'm having fun with him!"

The rest of the evening was spent on Elle's bed, the three of us gathered around books. Wesley rolled around, laughing if we nudged him one way or the other, happy to be not only part of the game, but the actual physical vehicle of the fun. There was interactivity. There was a lot of laughter. There was enjoyment.

This bath time revelation came at a time when I kept wondering when the "magic moment" would occur, when the phrase of the week was "Don't push your brother over!" (to which Elle repeatedly responded "But I wanted him to lay down!"). 

I'm sure as they grow older, they'll rally together about how mean Mom was or reminisce about how Dad was always the fun one - I am lucky enough to know firsthand that the experiences, the bond, the friendships that siblings share are precious and lasting. These two share more than DNA. They'll grow up sharing toys, parties, indignation, successes and, most importantly, memories. They're good for us, but far more than that - they're good for each other. They will be each other's biggest enemies and biggest protectors. Their relationship will evolve constantly for at least the next two decades, and while they might not always be the best of friends, they've got a lifetime connection.

Yes, this bath tub camaraderie signaled a turning point for my kiddos, when Elle-worshiping Wesley went from adorable, loveable nuisance to accepted, pint-sized sibling playmate. And that makes this mama heart very happy.

Wordless Wednesday: Little aquarium lover

I've got a lot of posts I'd like to get up in the next week or so, so fingers crossed I get my act together and catch up on weekly baby bump updates, general goings on and deep thoughts from a pregnant lady (is that possible? they're certainly scattered but emotional, so I guess that works) ...

Anyway, we went to the aquarium on Sunday. We have a membership to this aquarium, and while it isn't the flashiest, biggest or nicest I've been to (I'm a bit of an aquarium snob), I love it.

We've had a membership for three years now, and we certainly go enough that it always pays for itself. It's extremely educational and a good size for us. We can show up an hour before the place closes and see all of the exhibits without being rushed. There are new animals there every time. I love that the volunteers always teach us something new, and they've made a ton of improvements and changes in the last 12 months that make me glad our membership money is going to them.

This is one of the first visits that Elle really "got" it ... she had been obsessed with a sea creatures book we got from the library the week before, and she's been on a Finding Nemo kick lately, too. She was PUMPED for this trip. And as she dashed from tank to tank to see the eels, the sea dragons AND sea horses, the jelly fish and the "Nemos and Dorys," she amazed the volunteers with random bits of sea creature information.

It was a nice, relaxed family afternoon. When we arrived, though, I was struck by the rememberance of a scene nearly three years earlier when we took 10-day-old Elle out for one of her first outings:

On that hot summer day, I insisted we get a photo of her at the aquarium's entrance. We went to the aquarium with my visiting mom and brother. I nursed Elle in front of the manatee tank - one of the first times I nursed her in a public place - and Elle had a major blowout that had me wondering how one little person could create so much smelly poo.

This time, though, 2.75-year-old Elle gasped in delight as she saw the fountain. The stroller was unnecessary, and she barely stood in one place long enough for me to get a decent photo. She ran ahead of us almost the entire time. Now potty-trained, she didn't use the restroom at all.

Hard to believe that was "only" 2.75 years ago. And hard to believe how much she's grown and changed!

Wordless Wednesday: Air Elle

As much as this scares me, it makes the two of them extremely happy:

October 2012, age 26 months.

She certainly isn't as aerodynamic as she used to be, and this was likely the last toddler toss. But it certainly does make for some great photo ops. 

April 2011, age 9 months.

I used to worry that she was too floppy for this. Now I worry that she's way too sturdy.

February 2011, age 7 months.

I mean, seriously - she gets some serious air. And she loves it.

Same night as the first photo,
different throw.

Wordless Wednesday: Little moments

I'm never wordless on these posts. Although really, I've been rather wordless of late, probably most noticeable to me. I've been dealing with some stuff for the last few weeks, and blogging just hasn't been a priority, nor has it been my preferred outlet. I've been crafting, I've been running, and I've been baking, and that's how I've been dealing with the things weighing on my heart and mind.

And although this little one has been pushing buttons and defying limits like it's her job, she's also been a great distraction and reminder for things that are good in my life, for people to be thankful for and appreciate. Tonight, just minutes after she seemed to be launching in to a tantrum of epic proportions (one that I was entirely unprepared for and uninterested in), we had giggles, smiles and precious moments. 

As we played with the photo and video functions on the computer, she was obsessed with the kisses I'd give her on the count of three. She thoughtfully stared at and positioned her hand so that it rested on my cheek. She showed all of her teeth and smiled with her whole face, and she didn't want the fun to end. 

This kid? She's happy. She's pure and curious and full of energy. Although I didn't sleep well last night, I was grateful for an unusual 4 a.m. wakeup that consisted of giggles and play instead of fearful yells and tears. I don't know what woke her up, and I don't know how long she was awake, but when I was having a "moment" at work this afternoon, thinking of her late night (early morning?) laughs made me smile. Much like these photos.

Where has the time gone?!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Elle has been saying some pretty funny things. When you ask Elle how old she is, she replies "Good." If you tell her, "No, you should say 'I'm one,'" you'll get a reluctant but solid "I'm one!" This will likely be followed by a sly grin and the proclamation of "I'm four!" or maybe an "I'm two!" (Any number will do, thanks to a friend of Elle's at church who also thinks she is 1-5 at any given second).

But the thing is, she's one going on two going on 10. It seems like the majority of her communication these days is through full sentences, often with proper verbage, pronunciation and pronouns. Just the other week she started very purposefully looking for her "wasscloth" instead of her "cuppa" (don't know why it was a cuppa, but for many months, it was).

We went to Michael's a few weeks ago to buy some frames for gifts. As we entered the store, I saw someone I worked with when I was working my part-time gig there two years ago. When I was pregnant with Elle. I walked through the store, noting that there are many changes, but as I passed the bead department, I noted that very little had changed. I remember stocking those very shelves and rubbing my belly as I contemplated what the future would hold for us. I remembering rubbing my back as I had to stand up and down and up and down, and the belly grew, so did the effort to do "simple" things. I had just started working that job when I found out I was pregnant. My first pregnancy symptom - needing to pee every five minutes - happened on my morning shifts there. I told those coworkers our big news before I told many of my friends and family, because these people didn't know me well, but they needed to know why I wasn't lifting heavy boxes, why I looked sick much of those first few weeks, why my schedule changed from 5 a.m. starts to 9 a.m. starts (God bless my manager for taking such good care of me!).

And I worked in that store for six more months - right up until we left for our babymoon. I loved the people, still love the store and realized just how much of an emotional pull it has on me from that time in my life. Elle was oblivious, wanting to look at the plastic animals and summer toys, but I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.

Sometimes I snap out of the Twilight Zone and come to the stark, sudden realization that Elle is almost two. I found out I was pregnant with her almost three years ago. We've been doing this parenting thing for almost 24 months. Worrying about childcare, learning about development, settling in to our own groove. And it has gone FAST. Ridiculously fast.

I wonder about future pregnancies - what kind of kid(s) we'll have, what my pregnancy(ies) may bring, everything from how I'll *know* to how fast I'll show to if we'll have the same OB and deliver in the same hospital. There's a certain exciting comfort to thoughts like this. But it terrifies me to think of how fast it will all go, too.

I was uploading photos the other day and accidentally clicked on a June folder from 2011. I gasped as I looked at the photo because not only was it not what I was expecting, but it seems like forever ago.

I had been expecting this:

I got something like this:

Even as I took photos for part of this year's Father's Day present to Tim, I remembered how it was a lot easier last year, when *someone* just sat there. Sure, at the time I was frustrated that she just sat there, but this year, we had to flip the letters around, pick up twigs, try to touch the camera, etc.

This little girl is growing up. She's got more attitude, personality, vocabulary and words every day. While I love watching her grow up, I can't get over how fast it is going and how quickly she's changing. I'd like a time machine, please.

Wordless Wednesday: Hot summer day at the aquarium

We have been members of a local aquarium for three years now. The membership is not expensive - it pays for itself in less than two visits (we have one for just Tim and I, as Elle's admission is free for another year). We also get awesome, nationwide reciprocal benefits, which we've used to check out gardens, museums and zoos for free or at a discount because we're members of the Mote.

It is also an awesome investment for quick trips. If we weren't members, I'd never just show up an hour before closing. It wouldn't be worth the price of admission, I'd tell myself. But it works out perfectly for us to go after Elle's nap, or on a holiday after a big meal (we spent part of Christmas at the Mote this year) - the crowds are scarce, the place is quiet and we can check out as much or as little as we have time to. And it actually makes our investment better to use it more often, so I say all aquarium, all the time!

On Sunday, it was HOT. Ridiculous sticky and gross. But it had rained for four days straight, so Elle and I were going a little stir crazy. I convinced Tim that we should go show Elle the Nemos and Dorys at the aquarium because she's been on a Finding Nemo kick. We went, and it was hot, but there are many indoor and shaded areas at the aquarium, so it wasn't completely awful. We know our way around, and it's a fairly small facility, so it was easy to spend lots of time with some exhibits and completely skip over others (sorry, manatees!).

It was the first time that Elle really *got* some of the exhibits, too. She told a sleeping octopus to "Wake up!" and absolutely loved the seahorses. She played peek-a-boo with a turtle and chased a shark from window to window as it swam in its tank. I love aquariums, and I'm hopeful that she'll be enamored with them, too :)

This is moments before she put her head down on the hot,
black mats, grunted for a few seconds and pooped. Classy lady.

We need to find a new way to vacation

We've lived in Florida for almost six years. For those six years, the majority of our vacation time and money has gone to taking trips to Ohio to visit family. A small percentage has been used to take time off to entertain friends who have come to visit us, and an equally small percentage has been used to go on actual vacations not involving Ohio. This isn't the best situation. While I'm grateful that we have the means to take time off of work and buy plane tickets to Ohio, it's not a vacation in the typical sense. It *can* be restful and relaxing, but more often, for Tim and I, it's stressful, busy and leaves us feeling like we still didn't do everything or see everyone we wanted to see. We have a few days two or three times a year to squeeze in 365 days worth of visiting with family and hanging out with friends. We spend a lot of time in a car. Now that we have Elle, we feel ever more pulled to spend time with family and need to schedule around nap times and bed times, and the amount of time, money and effort involved in a trip has tripled. Elle is an easy going traveler, but it is still an ordeal.

With my new job, my vacation time has been drastically reduced. We knew that a non-Ohio trip would be highly unlikely this year, and we have one big Ohio trip planned for the fall, but that was the extent of our planned travels. But Tim's mom is retiring this year after a 40-year teaching career, and her retirement dinner was held last week. I desperately wanted to come home for a visit and had the opportunity to get away from work for a few days this week. So we decided to take a trip to Ohio. But of course it couldn't be as easy as just "taking a trip to Ohio."

At Grandma's retirement dinner.

Tim and Elle flew in on Thursday and drove to Tim's hometown for the retirement dinner. They successfully surprised Grandma and then spent the next day with family. I flew in to an airport on the other side of the state on Friday night. On Saturday, we met almost halfway to do an Elle handoff. We were fortunate that the timing of our fairly impromptu Ohio trip coincided with a dear friend's trip to Ohio, so we got to meet up with Meghan and Mike and meet Ryan.

Ohio brings everyone together.

 Tim and I hadn't seen Meg and Mike since August 2009. Before that, I think Meghan and I had seen each other at least once a year since 2001, including three times in 2008, when we both got married. So we were looonnnngggg overdue. We had both had kids in that time frame - kids who obviously needed to meet.

After lunch, Tim returned to his side of the state, and Elle and I headed east to see my family. So on our "vacation" in Ohio, Tim, Elle and I spent 90 minutes together. Before I left, one of my coworkers remarked on the fact that Tim and I see so little of each other when we're home because of our opposite shifts that it seemed semi-natural that we would vacation together-but-separately as well. Trust me, this is not ideal, and we're hoping that we don't have to do it again. The good thing is that we both got to see our families and Elle got a lengthy visit with family she doesn't get to see often. And Tim was on vacation all week, so I got to see him in the evenings, when he would normally be at work. But the rest of the situation? Not my favorite thing ever. Anyway ...

Aunt Marti (wearing birthday crown on her 35th birthday!) watches Elle,
who was searching for one of Marti's cats under the bed. Ginger knows
enough to hide when Elle is around, even in the new house.

Elle and I spent the next few days with my family, including another road trip on Sunday to see my sister and her new house. Tim was supposed to fly back to Florida on Sunday but only made it as far as Atlanta before being stranded in the airport overnight because his flight had been delayed and he missed his connection. He flew out the next morning, but we're both less than pleased with his Delta experience, and they WILL be hearing about it. Tim has vowed to never fly again, which could further complicate the whole visits-to-Ohio issue, but we'll revisit that at a later date.

On Monday, Elle and I spent the day with my family and then got together with one of my close friends from high school and her son, who is about a year younger than Elle.

The expressions on these two crack me up.

Elle has been enjoying her encounters with new friends as well as lots of fresh air, new-to-her toys and being spoiled rotten by doting grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends. She traveled well with Tim on the way up, and she's been a trooper with all of the long car rides across the state.

My 14-year-old brother accumulated a pretty awesome Thomas the Train set when he was younger.
Elle took full advantage of it and begged to play with the trains and tracks every day.

Hanging out with Uncle Doug.

She's even been sleeping fairly well at night, although I think she's longing for the comfort of her crib. Last night, though, she woke up at 3, which was entirely too early to start the day (6, maybe, 7, sure, but 3? NO WAY). I rocked her for a few minutes, then told her it was time to go back to sleep. Half an hour later, I heard her cry out again. This time, when I picked her up, I could tell something was wrong. It was dark, but I could tell she had been sick. I held her again, and she drifted off, but about thirty minutes later she started to squirm, and then she threw up again. This is only our second encounter with Elle vomit, and I'm not the best at dealing with these kinds of situations. We got up, and I prayed that this was just some small upset stomach incident and not some full-blown virus or bug that would affect our trip back to Florida tomorrow.

Our last full day in the state was spent at home, loosely following the BRAT diet and making sure she drank lots of liquids. We canceled the evening plans we had with a friend, and thankfully, Elle seemed to be nearly 100% almost immediately. After running back and forth through my parents' kitchen from 4 a.m. until 5 a.m. while my mom and brother slept and my dad prepared for work, I finally got her to crash on the living room floor with me. When we woke up a few hours later, she seemed absolutely fine. We're still taking it slow on her stomach, but I think something just wasn't sitting right with her and she's good to go now.

Elle sitting with my dad on "G's bicycle." She calls it "Suki" (short for Suzuki).
When she was prancing around the kitchen this morning at 4:30 a.m.,she was talking about this
and was super excited when my dad got home from work and brought it out for her to see.

We'll be reunited with Tim tomorrow, and I'll return to work the next day. It's been a good visit, but the general overtones of having too much to cram in to never-enough-time are definitely present, and it was less than ideal that we had our time split up (although I'm grateful that Tim didn't have Elle with him the night he got stuck spending the night in the airport).

Spending time with Grams.

And as always, it's hard to leave - it's hard knowing I didn't get to see Tim's family on this trip, didn't get to spend much time with friends, wasn't able to spend much time with my sister. It's also extremely difficult to watch Elle and my family get so close in such a short period of time and then have to take her back to Florida and know that it will be several months before we see each other again. I could go on and on, but basically, it's hard living so far away from family, not just logistically and financially, but emotionally, too. Technology allows for frequent phone calls and video chats, but there are some things that just can't be replicated.