For the first year since 1996, I've started the year not working for a newspaper. From high school to college to four newspapers after graduation, every new year has been consistent in that way. And while I've been out of journalism for almost four months, I still feel like a huge chunk of "me" is missing.
Don't get me wrong - work wasn't my life, and there were definitely reasons, both short-term and long-term, that I left the industry. But when you do something for so long, and it consumes so much of your life, I think it's natural to feel like a little bit of your identity is shaken when it's gone. Many former journalists left the business for something similar - where they're still writing, dealing with the news, editing, etc. Or they kept a schedule similar to what they had when they were in journalism. Moi? While I deal with graphic design occasionally, it's nothing like designing an entire sports section every night. I am on a completely opposite schedule from the one I worked for the better part of more than a decade. A lot of my friends still work for newspapers. Oh. And my husband still works for a newspaper.
Tim and I still "talk shop." I'm still extremely at ease visiting him in a newsroom. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it isn't hard sometimes, to talk about a big news story or a deadline issue, and not feel a tug at my journalistic heartstrings. My job change has definitely skewed our work convos dramatically. And I was only minimally surprised when I was talking to a close friend from my former newspaper and referred to something as a decision "we," as a paper, had made. I find myself doing that a lot - "we" or "us" - and then backtracking to clarify.
Maybe if I had left the industry sooner it wouldn't feel like such a huge part of me is in transition. It's not like I don't have other, bigger roles in my life - mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend. I have other passions and creative outlets. But I think that's part of it, too - my work was a creative outlet. I don't have a lot of free time for "fun" design projects anymore (something I am changing in 2012). I spend a lot of time at a computer, but the ebb and flow of newspaper downtime and crunch time isn't there anymore.
And there's a self-confidence issue at play in my little identity crisis. I wasn't the best newspage designer in the world - not even close. But I was good at it. I knew it inside and out. I was confident and comfortable. I was calm under pressure. After being at my last paper for more than five years, I think people knew what to expect from me, and I knew what to expect from them. There was a familiarity there, too. People knew about me - about my husband, my daughter, the fact that none of our family lives within 1,000 miles of us. They were there with celebrations when I got married and cake when I was about ready to pop out a baby. They knew when I was in a good mood or when they should probably avoid me. They moved mountains to make sure I could be with my family when my grandma died, despite the fact that it was the busiest weekend of the year, our boss had worked like 20 days straight and the other designer was recovering from emergency surgery.
We all shared glances when anyone dared to plan a wedding, baby or vacation for football season (hand raised for being guilty of taking time off for both a wedding and a baby during the busiest sports season, but hey, life happens). Since these are all pretty big life factors and events, that sense of community is something that sticks with me.
To all the people who have heard me whine and complain about how I was tired of working nights, exhausted by my commute, beyond over working holidays and about ready to blow my top because of certain coworkers, I know this sounds like I've had a complete change of heart. Not true. But it's hard to completely dismiss something that was such a big part of my life - of me - for so long. It deserves the chance to be mourned, for lack of a better description. And I'm not saying that my current job and coworkers are awful and insufferable. The circumstances are just different, and I'm slow to completely acclimate. Any change so drastic - from actual work, schedule and environment - has to be granted an adjustment period, and I'm in the thick of it.
Life in newspapers isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs. However, in this time of major change in my life, I'm conscious of where I've been as I try to figure out where I'm going.
Showing posts with label newspapers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label newspapers. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Monday, September 12, 2011
A departure
Things have been a bit busy over in the land 'o Sea Cow Circus. (I find that a lot of bloggers get "quiet" soon before they announce big news - any one else notice that?)
The biggest news around these parts is that I am starting a new job in a few weeks.
I've worked at four newspapers since I graduated college eight years ago. It averages out pretty well, but the first three jobs were pretty short-lived - six months, 15 months and 16 months. It seemed like every year I needed two W-2s for my taxes. But this job? I've been here for five years and three months.
Being at one place so long means I actually pretty much kinda know what is going on. I'm currently the most senior designer in my department. I get a nice chunk of vacation time every year. I have been lucky enough to work for an amazing boss and with some pretty awesome people. (There are some pretty not-so-awesome people, too, but I don't want to dwell on that.) The other designers and I, for as much turnover as there has been, operate as a pretty well-oiled machine. There are certainly good things about where I'm at, and many things that I will miss.
That being said, there are definite cons to my job (and if you're related to me or friends with me IRL, you've heard ALLLLLL about them for years. Or even if you've read the blog for a few months, haha). Newspapers are not exactly a thriving industry. Because of across-the-board pay cuts two years ago and the suspension of raises, I actually make less than I did when I was hired. Another five percent pay cut was announced three days ago. Benefits have become, well, less beneficial. I work nights, weekends and holidays. I drive about 60 miles round trip on toll roads (read: tolls are expensive and gas isn't getting cheaper). The time I spend in the car (45 minutes on the way to work, 35 on the way home) eats in to time I'd rather be spending at home with my family.
So when I saw this particular job posting, I decided it was worth at least applying for - I figured, no matter what, it was good for me to get my resume and portfolio updated and organized. I was called for an interview. I was called for a second interview. And then, after a weekend of my stomach being tied in knots, I was offered the job. After talking things over with Tim and some negotiations with the new company, I accepted the job the next day and told my current employer that afternoon.
My commute will take up less than 25 minutes of my day, tops. I won't work nights, weekends or holidays. I'll work from 8:30 a.m. until 5 p.m., and I'll come home and eat dinner with my family and put my baby to bed each night. The benefits and perks are awesome, and the company is growing. There's plenty of opportunity for me there.We'll be saving on gas and childcare. If there was an emergency and I needed to get home right away, I could be home in 10 minutes instead of driving across three counties.
There are moments - either dramatically quiet or ridiculously busy times - when I realize just how much I'm going to miss what I do. How it will feel really, really weird to NOT be doing it. Working in a newsroom on a Friday night during high school football is something that I've done pretty much every year. Being at work at the peak of baseball season is kind of second nature now. I'm far too familiar with the NHL, NBA, MLB and NFL draft processes. And working on deadline - on newspaper deadline - can be chaotic and comforting. Some nights I nail my shift and am on top of the world, other nights I'm frustrated and want to drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine. My body might be tense and my stomach in knots, but I maintain a sense of calm and determination when we're down to the wire and just get. stuff. done.
The commute has *some* perks, too. Some nights when I enjoy the drive home, watching lightning arc across the water. Some days when I revel in the time alone in the car - whether listening to an audio book, catching up on phone calls with friends and family or just driving.
The biggest downside? The part that eats at me and makes me realize that right now, short-term, this isn't a bad situation at all? I won't spend the majority of my mornings and early afternoons with Elle. There are other big drawbacks, too - my night-shift-working husband and I won't be on similar schedules. Our gym routine, which is very important to both of us, is going to be up in the air for a while. Tim and I have had A LOT of schedule changes in the last 13 months, and this is probably the longest stretch we've gone without one. We're in a groove, and that's all going to be shaken up and turned upside down. My vacation time is going to be extremely limited for the next few years as I rebuild with a new employer.
I try to look at the positives, though: I had more than a year of working full time but being home with Elle for most of her awake time. In a few years, if I was still working my current hours, I would never see Elle, as her school schedule would be opposite my work schedule. She'll be with one of her parents for the majority of the time. The new schedule allows for more childcare options (I could go on and on about the problems we've had with childcare in the past 10+ months). With the new job, Tim and I will be able to eventually have an entire day off together each week. We'll have a few evenings a week at home, together, as a family. And if he ever goes back to working days, we'll ... *gasp* ... be "normal."
(The biggest downside for Tim is that we'll no longer alternate the morning wake ups ... which means he'll be working nights and getting up with Elle five days a week. I'm tired for him.)
It will be really odd to be on the outside of newspapers for the first time in a long time, but as one of my senior editors told me when I shared the news, a decision made for your family is never a wrong one. This decision is the right one for myself and my family, and while I'm nostalgic about this chapter being over, I'm excited about the next chapter and all of the adventures that will come with it :)
The biggest news around these parts is that I am starting a new job in a few weeks.
I've worked at four newspapers since I graduated college eight years ago. It averages out pretty well, but the first three jobs were pretty short-lived - six months, 15 months and 16 months. It seemed like every year I needed two W-2s for my taxes. But this job? I've been here for five years and three months.
Being at one place so long means I actually pretty much kinda know what is going on. I'm currently the most senior designer in my department. I get a nice chunk of vacation time every year. I have been lucky enough to work for an amazing boss and with some pretty awesome people. (There are some pretty not-so-awesome people, too, but I don't want to dwell on that.) The other designers and I, for as much turnover as there has been, operate as a pretty well-oiled machine. There are certainly good things about where I'm at, and many things that I will miss.
That being said, there are definite cons to my job (and if you're related to me or friends with me IRL, you've heard ALLLLLL about them for years. Or even if you've read the blog for a few months, haha). Newspapers are not exactly a thriving industry. Because of across-the-board pay cuts two years ago and the suspension of raises, I actually make less than I did when I was hired. Another five percent pay cut was announced three days ago. Benefits have become, well, less beneficial. I work nights, weekends and holidays. I drive about 60 miles round trip on toll roads (read: tolls are expensive and gas isn't getting cheaper). The time I spend in the car (45 minutes on the way to work, 35 on the way home) eats in to time I'd rather be spending at home with my family.
So when I saw this particular job posting, I decided it was worth at least applying for - I figured, no matter what, it was good for me to get my resume and portfolio updated and organized. I was called for an interview. I was called for a second interview. And then, after a weekend of my stomach being tied in knots, I was offered the job. After talking things over with Tim and some negotiations with the new company, I accepted the job the next day and told my current employer that afternoon.
My commute will take up less than 25 minutes of my day, tops. I won't work nights, weekends or holidays. I'll work from 8:30 a.m. until 5 p.m., and I'll come home and eat dinner with my family and put my baby to bed each night. The benefits and perks are awesome, and the company is growing. There's plenty of opportunity for me there.We'll be saving on gas and childcare. If there was an emergency and I needed to get home right away, I could be home in 10 minutes instead of driving across three counties.
There are moments - either dramatically quiet or ridiculously busy times - when I realize just how much I'm going to miss what I do. How it will feel really, really weird to NOT be doing it. Working in a newsroom on a Friday night during high school football is something that I've done pretty much every year. Being at work at the peak of baseball season is kind of second nature now. I'm far too familiar with the NHL, NBA, MLB and NFL draft processes. And working on deadline - on newspaper deadline - can be chaotic and comforting. Some nights I nail my shift and am on top of the world, other nights I'm frustrated and want to drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine. My body might be tense and my stomach in knots, but I maintain a sense of calm and determination when we're down to the wire and just get. stuff. done.
The commute has *some* perks, too. Some nights when I enjoy the drive home, watching lightning arc across the water. Some days when I revel in the time alone in the car - whether listening to an audio book, catching up on phone calls with friends and family or just driving.
The biggest downside? The part that eats at me and makes me realize that right now, short-term, this isn't a bad situation at all? I won't spend the majority of my mornings and early afternoons with Elle. There are other big drawbacks, too - my night-shift-working husband and I won't be on similar schedules. Our gym routine, which is very important to both of us, is going to be up in the air for a while. Tim and I have had A LOT of schedule changes in the last 13 months, and this is probably the longest stretch we've gone without one. We're in a groove, and that's all going to be shaken up and turned upside down. My vacation time is going to be extremely limited for the next few years as I rebuild with a new employer.
I try to look at the positives, though: I had more than a year of working full time but being home with Elle for most of her awake time. In a few years, if I was still working my current hours, I would never see Elle, as her school schedule would be opposite my work schedule. She'll be with one of her parents for the majority of the time. The new schedule allows for more childcare options (I could go on and on about the problems we've had with childcare in the past 10+ months). With the new job, Tim and I will be able to eventually have an entire day off together each week. We'll have a few evenings a week at home, together, as a family. And if he ever goes back to working days, we'll ... *gasp* ... be "normal."
(The biggest downside for Tim is that we'll no longer alternate the morning wake ups ... which means he'll be working nights and getting up with Elle five days a week. I'm tired for him.)
It will be really odd to be on the outside of newspapers for the first time in a long time, but as one of my senior editors told me when I shared the news, a decision made for your family is never a wrong one. This decision is the right one for myself and my family, and while I'm nostalgic about this chapter being over, I'm excited about the next chapter and all of the adventures that will come with it :)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Elle the Breaking News Magnet
It seems our daughter has developed her own journalistic flare in utero.
Since I found out I was pregnant, I have had to deal with more than my fair share of breaking news. Somehow, it seems like whenever there is a no-hitter or a historic death (like John Wooden's passing, or the death of former Buccaneer) Gaines Adams), *I* am scheduled to design the section front. (Although I didn't have to work the day George Steinbrenner died, but I think my Yankee fandom worked in some cosmic way to arrange that.) In any other year, I wouldn't have been the one "blessed" with this nose for news. Or it wouldn't have been so obvious.
But this year, people are noticing.
Three weeks ago I designed section covers with a no-hitter and an unexpected verbal fight between two stars of our baseball team. For both to happen in one week was a bit unusual. Both called for dramatic readjustments of my pages, a lot of time and work invested in the section, and of course, I wasn't surprised that it happened on my nights. But I asked for a reprieve. I mean, I don't want to be a news hog, and it certainly can be mentally taxing, especially when you've got pregnancy brain to contend with. At the end of my pregnancy, I certainly didn't feel a deep desire to have more breaking news. I kept joking that the adrenaline from all of the breaking news was going to put me in to labor. When someone asked what my plan was if news broke that night (i.e. "What if LeBron announces who he is signing with?"), I would semi-jokingly reply: "Go in to labor."
But this was not an option two weeks ago. There was a tragic shooting of two Tampa police officers, and the suspect(s) were on the loose for almost four days. I was off when the shooting actually occurred, and I usually work in sports, so the news of the day wouldn't have affected me much. But that week, I was scheduled to cover a 1A shift. Which meant I'd be in news. I prayed that they'd catch the suspects before my shift ... when that didn't happen, I prayed they'd catch them after my shift. The day before my shift, I joked about a colossal "all-the-news-breaks-at-once" moment - the suspects would be caught by LeBron James, who would have just finished pitching a perfect game and then make his announcement for the upcoming NBA season.
Flash forward to my news shift: Things are calm, we've got stories covering new developments in the case, a profile on the suspected shooter, a piece on the command center, memorials, etc. But then, at 10:28, which is a mere hour before deadline, the night city editor came running up through the newsroom and said the words I had been dreading: A local TV station had reported that they'd caught the suspect.
I said a few choice words, joked about my water breaking and marveled at Elle's "luck." This girl has "seen" more breaking news than most 10-year-olds.
We made it through, although I must admit, trying to work on deadline with a baby trampolining on your bladder is rather challenging. She had been pretty calm all night, and as soon as the news broke I went to the bathroom, not knowing when the next time I'd be able to go would be. (She seriously chose the next two hours to wake up and bounce on my bladder while I worked on deadline.) I ended up having to stay an extra hour, and the rush and stress and length of the shift left me really wishing I was able to go out for a post-work drink with my coworkers.
The next day, one of my bosses remarked on my instinctual prediction that the suspect would be caught that night. I quickly corrected her, telling her it was more of a curse than instinct.
I can only hope the news slows down after Elle is born.
Since I found out I was pregnant, I have had to deal with more than my fair share of breaking news. Somehow, it seems like whenever there is a no-hitter or a historic death (like John Wooden's passing, or the death of former Buccaneer) Gaines Adams), *I* am scheduled to design the section front. (Although I didn't have to work the day George Steinbrenner died, but I think my Yankee fandom worked in some cosmic way to arrange that.) In any other year, I wouldn't have been the one "blessed" with this nose for news. Or it wouldn't have been so obvious.
But this year, people are noticing.
Three weeks ago I designed section covers with a no-hitter and an unexpected verbal fight between two stars of our baseball team. For both to happen in one week was a bit unusual. Both called for dramatic readjustments of my pages, a lot of time and work invested in the section, and of course, I wasn't surprised that it happened on my nights. But I asked for a reprieve. I mean, I don't want to be a news hog, and it certainly can be mentally taxing, especially when you've got pregnancy brain to contend with. At the end of my pregnancy, I certainly didn't feel a deep desire to have more breaking news. I kept joking that the adrenaline from all of the breaking news was going to put me in to labor. When someone asked what my plan was if news broke that night (i.e. "What if LeBron announces who he is signing with?"), I would semi-jokingly reply: "Go in to labor."
But this was not an option two weeks ago. There was a tragic shooting of two Tampa police officers, and the suspect(s) were on the loose for almost four days. I was off when the shooting actually occurred, and I usually work in sports, so the news of the day wouldn't have affected me much. But that week, I was scheduled to cover a 1A shift. Which meant I'd be in news. I prayed that they'd catch the suspects before my shift ... when that didn't happen, I prayed they'd catch them after my shift. The day before my shift, I joked about a colossal "all-the-news-breaks-at-once" moment - the suspects would be caught by LeBron James, who would have just finished pitching a perfect game and then make his announcement for the upcoming NBA season.
Flash forward to my news shift: Things are calm, we've got stories covering new developments in the case, a profile on the suspected shooter, a piece on the command center, memorials, etc. But then, at 10:28, which is a mere hour before deadline, the night city editor came running up through the newsroom and said the words I had been dreading: A local TV station had reported that they'd caught the suspect.
I said a few choice words, joked about my water breaking and marveled at Elle's "luck." This girl has "seen" more breaking news than most 10-year-olds.
We made it through, although I must admit, trying to work on deadline with a baby trampolining on your bladder is rather challenging. She had been pretty calm all night, and as soon as the news broke I went to the bathroom, not knowing when the next time I'd be able to go would be. (She seriously chose the next two hours to wake up and bounce on my bladder while I worked on deadline.) I ended up having to stay an extra hour, and the rush and stress and length of the shift left me really wishing I was able to go out for a post-work drink with my coworkers.
The next day, one of my bosses remarked on my instinctual prediction that the suspect would be caught that night. I quickly corrected her, telling her it was more of a curse than instinct.
I can only hope the news slows down after Elle is born.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Florida (and newspapers) hate us, part 2,365,783
Sooooo the economy isn't great. And the newspaper industry is worse. We've heard stories of furloughs, layoffs, buyouts, pay cuts and total closure of some newspapers.
But it hit too close to home this week.
Tim's company announced two weeks ago that they were going to eliminate 1,600 positions. We'd been hearing rumors for weeks, but that was the first definitive number we'd heard. Then the word came that Tim's paper would hear their fate on Monday. They already had a very trim staff, so we didn't know where they'd cut any fat. But Tim was let go.
The paper says the layoff was based on seniority. And he's working until March 27, although they sent him home on Monday after giving him the news. Apparently they didn't want him to talk to anyone because they were having a newsroom meeting at 4. (Like it wouldn't look weird when he came in for 20 minutes and left, but whatever ...) Then he has six weeks of severance pay.
The job search has already started. Tim is going to make finding a new full-time job his new full-time job after March 27. But if you have any spare thoughts, vibes, job openings, winning lottery tickets or prayers to send our way, please do! :-) This wasn't something we were expecting, and the economy couldn't be much worse. Tim is optimistic and eager to find something new to be passionate about, so we're hoping this is a blessing in disguise.
Last weekend we went to two more spring training games - I'll be blogging about those in the next few days, so be on the lookout for photos and descriptions!
But it hit too close to home this week.
Tim's company announced two weeks ago that they were going to eliminate 1,600 positions. We'd been hearing rumors for weeks, but that was the first definitive number we'd heard. Then the word came that Tim's paper would hear their fate on Monday. They already had a very trim staff, so we didn't know where they'd cut any fat. But Tim was let go.
The paper says the layoff was based on seniority. And he's working until March 27, although they sent him home on Monday after giving him the news. Apparently they didn't want him to talk to anyone because they were having a newsroom meeting at 4. (Like it wouldn't look weird when he came in for 20 minutes and left, but whatever ...) Then he has six weeks of severance pay.
The job search has already started. Tim is going to make finding a new full-time job his new full-time job after March 27. But if you have any spare thoughts, vibes, job openings, winning lottery tickets or prayers to send our way, please do! :-) This wasn't something we were expecting, and the economy couldn't be much worse. Tim is optimistic and eager to find something new to be passionate about, so we're hoping this is a blessing in disguise.
Last weekend we went to two more spring training games - I'll be blogging about those in the next few days, so be on the lookout for photos and descriptions!
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