Move It Monday: Working out with pregnancy #2

This pregnancy has been very much the same but very different than my first one. The similarities are big, although general - along the lines of things going pretty well aside from several weeks of nausea and fatigue. With each pregnancy, there were about 8-10 weeks where I felt like I would never feel human again, and then suddenly, I was human again.

The differences have been small but significant. This pregnancy has left me with a lot more indigestion and just a general unpleasantness regarding food. I've had a lot of weird pains with this pregnancy, from stomach pain to odd round ligament ouchies. In the last three weeks or so, I've dealt with severe sciatic nerve pain on several occasions.

The biggest differences actually involve my day-to-day life. With pregnancy #1, I was working a full-time job, part-time job and going to school through the end of my second trimester. Tim and I were on similar schedules, and we'd often go to the gym together in the late mornings before we both went to our full-time jobs, which required night and weekend hours.

 With this pregnancy, we have a toddler. We're on opposite schedules, as Tim works at night, Tuesday through Saturday, and I work during the day, Monday through Friday. If I want to go to the gym, I have to go before work, because after work involves picking Elle up from daycare, making dinner, giving Elle a bath and putting her to bed. I'm tired all. the. time. I don't HAVE to stay up and do homework or get up to work my part-time job. My full-time job is much faster-paced than the job I had when I was pregnant with Elle, and even though I'm working about the same amount of hours, my brain is constantly drained and I am mentally exhausted at the end of the day. I no longer commute 80-90 minutes a day - I am in the car for about 25-30 minutes on the way to and from work.

But despite all of the differences and changes in life in 2010 vs. life in 2013, I'm very aware of my weight-gain pattern and my workout tendencies during my pregnancy with Elle. I didn't work out much during the first trimester when I was pregnant with Elle. I think I worked out just a little bit more during this pregnancy's first few weeks. I started at a slightly lower weight this time, but I lost a few more pounds during the beginning of my pregnancy with Elle.

But at about this time in my pregnancy with Elle, I had two months of back-to-back excessive weight gain. I wasn't working out much because my classwork was ramping up, and my appetite had returned so I was enjoying the heck out of food.

This time, I'm trying hard to be as active as I can, but it's hard. I am still super tired, and work has been cra-zay. I try to take a quick lunch break walk or do 20 minutes of Zumba on the Wii at night, but some weeks it just doesn't happen. And the other issue is that I am having some intense sciatic pain, often the days after I work out. I've tried resting and I've tried moderate exercise to deal with the pain, and so far, the moderate exercise seems to be helping just a bit more. I'm trying to do more prenatal Pilates and stretching to deal with the pain, too.

I am also trying to be more aware of what I'm eating and when. I'm trying to eat more fruits and veggies. I'm trying to not just eat ice cream because I'm pregnant or take double or triple helpings because I'm "eating for two." I'd like to gain less weight overall this time, but I'd also definitely like it to be a more consistent gain.

Post-walk tonight, at 22 weeks, 3 days ... realized that
the battle of Workout Top vs. The Belly is getting more fierce every day.

I think I stopped running around week 22 with Elle. I ran a bit the last two weekends, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that aside from a little soreness in my lower back and tightness in my calves, it felt good. I remember at this point during my first pregnancy, it wasn't comfortable to run because I felt like my belly was unsupported. This time, I still feel OK while I'm running, and the only slight discomfort hours later is some hip/pelvic soreness. I figure this is natural considering I'm lugging around a banana-sized baby inside my stomach and then bouncing it up and down as I do my jog/walk intervals.

I don't expect to be in fantastic physical shape as my pregnancy continues - I didn't start in that condition, and I'm not delusional
about my fitness level. But I would like to be in decent shape, and it's important to my mental well-being to not just sit on my butt for 40 weeks and let the weight pile on. I think the relative ease I had with my pregnancy with Elle was a result of staying active (heck, I lost part of my mucus plug at the gym 24 hours before she was born). I cannot imagine pushing for two hours and going through labor with her on no sleep without having a solid  base of physical conditioning. And I genuinely enjoy working out most days, so it benefits me to stay active as much my life allows me to be.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to comfortably jog, but I'm going to continue it as long as I can. I had considered registering for a 5K within the last few weeks and run/walking it, but I just haven't had any consistent training. I have another doctor's appointment this week, and while I know I've gained some weight, I'm hoping it's moderate. I'd like to be able to work out more than 2-4 times a week, but at this point, with a hectic full-time job, active toddler and a schedule that hardly ever matches up with my husband's, I'll take whatever I can get and be grateful for it. 

I'm linking up with new second-time mom Ashley for Move It Monday :)

Soul, sole: Getting back to working out in new shoes

I've been fighting a battle with myself for the last few months. To make a long story short, I hit a rut with my workouts and motivation, and it was easy to me to procrastinate resuming my regular workouts. There were a lot of balls up in the air for us this summer, and exercise slipped down the priority list. I figured once some of the balls fell in to place, I would go back to my workouts, but then whoever the heck was juggling the balls threw me for several curves.

While working out is normally one of my go-to stress busters, I chose an extra hour of sleep almost every time the alarm would go off for my gym wake-up call. I think part of it is also because I don't get a lot of time with Tim, especially during the week, so it was easy for me to give in to rolling over and cuddling as a way to eek out some extra time with him, and I justified it because my anxiety was at some seriously high levels. Bottom line, I've been depressed, and I know that when I'm depressed I need to work out. Not only are the endorphins scientifically proven to help a sista out, I feel accomplished and productive when I've knocked out a workout in addition to my full day of work and household stuff.

But I had a pity party (truthfully, I'm still having it, although I've limited it to part-time with a limited guest list), and I let myself make excuse after excuse. I've let "overwhelmed and exhausted" trump "accomplished and productive" far too many times. By some small miracle, the scale has been holding pretty steady, but my flab factor feels like it has skyrocketed, and my endurance has plummeted. I needed a swift kick in the pants. I have had no drive to get up early and go run on a treadmill. I have a much easier time talking myself in to a run outside, but because of daylight/Elle constraints, the opportunities there are limited.

Last week I realized that it was super easy to skip the gym when my feet always hurt. I have massive feet, and pregnancy did them no favors, so to say I struggle with suitable, affordable footwear would be an understatement. (Also, not sure if any of you are aware, but "cute" doesn't seem to be in Big Foot's vocabulary, so I struggle with that, too, with my non-athletic footwear.) I got new running shoes earlier this year, but I never really fell in love with them. The pair before that? LOVED them. Ran many a mile and race in them before reluctantly retiring them. But the current pair? Bleh.

I had taken them back to the running store where I had purchased them and explained that - within the first week - my toes hurt. They felt numb. I was advised to wear them more often to break them in - not just while working out, but more in general. They were so-so, and I worked out in them for months, but in the last few weeks, I started to suspect that our relationship was almost over. My toes ached constantly, and even the side of my foot screamed for days after any workout. So I went back to the running store, and the sales associate took one poke at them and said "These are too small." (WHERE WERE YOU EARLIER THIS YEAR?!) So we tried some other shoes, larger sizes, etc. The big issue with my feet that they are not only long, they are wiiiiddddddeeeee. So we tried new shoe after new shoe, and finally, she asked "Have you ever tried men's shoes?" I had not, but apparently men's shoes are wider and often work well for people like me with ginormous feet.

Men's shoe, women's pasty white leg, gym's treadmill.

So far? I'm liking them a lot. I've worn a lot of New Balances in the last few years, but this is my first pair of Brooks. The sales person told me that we needed to find shoes that felt "A-MAY-ZING." I told her I would likely never say a shoe felt amazing unless it was my beloved two-generations-ago running shoe, so she should probably kiss that expectation goodbye. But I'm liking these. My toes are liking these. They don't look like men's shoes, although I'm not exactly trying to win fashion awards at the gym, so that doesn't really matter to me. I have 10 days to try them out, but they can't show wear if I need to return them, so I'm hitting the treadmill and elliptical to test them.

I'm hoping these shoes will help turn around my workout aversions and subsequently help me snap out of my funk. I'm registering for a few 5Ks next month to further motivate me and get some miles on the shoes. The weather in Florida is finally showing signs of cooling off to manageable temperatures and humidity levels, so running a few races is actually ideal. Another perk? Running races around the holidays always seems to help me get through the pumpkin pie haze and mashed potato fests that I tend to indulge in around this time of year. Win, win, win.

Not so big of a win? The jogging stroller with a 30+ pound opinionated toddler - it's a completely different monster (or "monstah," as Elle would say) than it was when we were running in the spring. But that's a blog post for another day ...

Linking up with Ashley, who never fails to entertain and inspire me with her posts, especially as she shares her pregnancy and fitness tales:

 

Baby weight

Oh, hey there, rambly weight-loss post. 

Tim and I are in a competition - a competition to see who can lose 10 pounds first. I'm pretty sure he's going to win, although the surgery has definitely put him at a disadvantage, as he can't workout until he gets the staples removed this week.

There's also the fact that he cheats :) My definition of cheating in this sense is that he'll eat only one, large meal, or cut back on how many Pepsis he has until he reaches his goal. I have cut back on my soda consumption quite a bit over the last few months, so when I indulge, it's in a Diet Coke, so I'm not drinking a lot of empty calories already.

But I don't care much about the short-term result - I love the fact that we're motivating each other and sharing a common goal (despite the different approaches). Sure, there are subtle attempts at sabotage ("Hey, why don't you have another piece of pizza?" or "You should skip the gym and just rest"), but we haven't succumbed to the taunts. And the scale is ever-so-slowly showing progress that I like - step by step, to my goal.

As part of my continued fitness and weight-loss commitment, I've registered for a 10K at the end of the month. Several of my coworkers are running a 5K at the same event, and really, I'm not going to be as well-trained as I want to be for the 10K, but I'm going to go in to it with the understanding that I'll probably end up walking part of it. Training has been interrupted by my need for new running shoes, which I got yesterday but need to break in. And I'm not in a place where I've been training for speed, and my endurance training isn't nearly up to par for a 10K.

The 10K is a nice motivation for me, and when I want to skip a workout or run I remember that preparing for the run will make it less painful and more successful.

But my workouts are also motivated by something that has bothered me for several months: "Baby weight."

Because I don't consider myself to still have it.

I lost my baby weight, and then some, pretty quickly after Elle was born. I was breastfeeding, I was training for a half-marathon relay, I was back to work and busy. I didn't have to do much and still the weight came off. I figured if I didn't go crazy and stuff my face with Little Debbies and sit on the couch every day, it would be easy to maintain.

Apparently I was wrong. (Or I ate Little Debbies in my sleep.)

At a happier weight, circa 2008.
My first experience with sushi,
and oh yeah, I <3 food.

I've struggled with weight for as long as I can remember. The battles range from disturbing bouts with anorexia (in middle school and college) to success with Weight Watchers (before our wedding). I think the gain this time came largely from the fact that my weekly running mileage dropped drastically once the half-marathon relay training was over and the Florida heat set in. I love running outside - the "dreadmill" and other gym equipment aren't as convenient or enjoyable. Then when I changed jobs I was suddenly home for dinner every night and prepared a meal instead of grabbing a snack or packing a frozen meal. My toddler daughter was also eating the same food as me, so if she didn't clean her plate I couldn't just let the food go to waste.

I've hated the idea that people who haven't known me - from before my wedding, after my wedding, before the baby, after the baby, etc. - just think that I'm carrying around an extra 10-15 pounds that I couldn't shake after pregnancy. The only impact on this most recent weight gain from my pregnancy is the fact that much of the extra poundage has settled in around my belly. And I know that it isn't easy to a) limit weight gain during pregnancy and b) lose weight - even though this isn't my baby weight, I know what it's like to weigh more than you'd like or chase those last few pounds. I hate the fact that I gained back "Kristin weight" after my pregnancy - weight I've struggled with for more than two decades.

Definitely baby weight.

So now when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I am tempted to ignore my 5:45 a.m. wake up call, I remind myself that it would be easy to go back to bed - and it was easy to gain the weight. It's going to take hard work and dedication to lose the weight, which is why I drag myself out of bed, go to the gym and track my calories throughout the day. I am mindful of what I'm going through now and confident that I won't fall victim to it again. I was in a mindset where I didn't pay attention to my caloric input/output was, and those calories added up. Since I've had a less-than-healthy relationship with food, I've always tried to be cognizant of fueling my body with good calories, but because of that track record with food, I think I often overcompensate, not wanting to associate with any of my anorexic tendencies. Plus I'm human, and I love sweets.

My once-obsessive relationship with exercise (although I wouldn't have admitted it at the time, I definitely had exercise bulimia) has turned - I enjoy working out for much more than the calories I burn. I feel good about working out. I feel stronger, more awake, more clear-headed. My time at the gym is my largest chunk of time to myself, with no other obligations, all week. My stroller runs with Elle on the weekend are a fun way to get out of the house and get some fresh air. Exercise is not a compulsion anymore - it's something I feel good about and like having as part of my regular routine.

I continue my fight against my post-baby non-baby weight. It's not easy, but every pound gone is empowering and brings me closer to my goal (and perhaps closer to winning a bet :)).

Linking up with

My running buddy

The last few weeks have provided some gorgeous, Florida fall weather. The days have been sunny, not humid, breezy and usually in the 70s or low 80s. (All except for the day we were supposed to have family photos taken when it rained and rained and rained, but that's another story.) On the weekends, I've been going for runs with Elle and our jogging stroller. I like that it gets us out of the house without using gas or spending money, and we get some fresh air and a change of scenery. Oh, and I like burning calories, too :)

I was telling Tim this weekend that I think the jogging stroller was a great investment - we bought it used off Craigslist, and while I would definitely upgrade if I were training for half- or full-marathons, it works well for my 2-3 mile weekend runs. It's bulky but not unmanageable. It has a huge sunshade that I love. The stroller works really well for the beach, too. (Tim doesn't like it because it can be a bit tricky to collapse, but I think he just needs some time to bond with the stroller.)

My typical view.

It is so much easier to be active when I have toddler entertainment and enjoyable weather. I wouldn't take Elle out if it was still miserably hot, and I would be miserable, too. It helps immensely that she isn't fussy or angry when she's "stuck" in the stroller. She babbles, points, waves and stretches the whole time, not even phased by bumps or loud cars driving by us on part of our route.

Yesterday, she spent more than half of our run clutching her feet to her chest. She kept saying "shoe" and "awwwww," and at one point, she kissed her shoe. I'm sure the people driving past us thought I was insane, but I had the biggest, dumbest grin plastered on my face because she was hugging her freakin' feet, rocking back and forth and cracking me up.

Nice hair, E :)

She's got the Happy Baby pose down pat, but the repeated squeals of "awwww" put the cherry on top.

Linking up with Move It Monday and

Weighty matters

I did really well losing my baby weight, which shocked me because I've never had an easy time with weight loss or weight maintenance. I was breastfeeding, I was a busy mama who didn't have a lot of time to eat, I was mindful of what I was putting in my mouth and enjoyed working out - either with the baby or as "me time." I was actually about 10 pounds lower than my pre-pregnancy weight for a while, and I was happy with it. When I trained for the half-marathon relay with my sister, I made a huge effort to run several miles a week, several days a week, so I wouldn't injure myself or make the papers by dying during the race because I was out of shape. I like pictures of me from around that time - I look healthy and healthy.

At a happier weight.

But soon after the half-marathon relay, it got super hot in Florida, and I didn't run outside much. That means I run on a treadmill now, or a "dreadmill" as some runners call it. I don't mind the treadmill - my gym has a TV on each one, it's easy to keep track of my distance and time, and it's in an air-conditioned, dry environment. In Florida, the "too hot for Kristin to run outside" season lasts from April until about November. But I don't exactly push myself when I run indoors. I get bored easily, so I do intervals (varying speed and incline as well as rest periods of walking), and I by the time I drive there and drive back, I'm cornered in to a fairly tight window of time. I went shopping the other day (for boots, mostly, but I was also looking at cute fall tops), and I was absolutely depressed by the time I was done. I hated the way everything looked on me, the way I looked in the fitting room mirror. I'm not happy in my own skin. I don't like to look at photos of myself.

Something needs to change.

My weekly mileage is far less than it was earlier this year. I'm no longer breastfeeding. I've been traveling and celebrating, and therefore packing the pounds back on. I'm back to around my pre-pregnancy weight (fluctuating to a bit higher sometimes, shamefully), but as a person who has been frequently told she "hides her weight well," I fear that I'm no longer hiding it well. It pretty much goes to my belly and hangs out there. And my face. And I just hate knowing that I'm carrying around extra pounds.

I've always struggled with my weight (and that's another topic for another post). And I've always been very conscious of my weight, to a point where it's been downright unhealthy. A few months ago, when I realized my clothes were fitting more snuggly, I tried to watch what I ate. I've now realized I could write a series on the eating habits of (the majority of) journalists. In summary, it's not pretty. Sit at a desk. Work crazy hours. Operate on tight deadlines. Exist on caffeine and sugar to get you through the crazy hours and tight deadlines. Collapse. Rinse, repeat. Which leaves little room for eating healthy or exercising regularly unless you make it a priority. And I do, more than a lot of people. But I also can't say no to the office candy jar. I give in to treats quite easily. And I found that because of my work/sleep schedule, I was eating very little when I was home during the morning and afternoon, and then I was grazing at work (on healthy stuff that I had packed, but still, continuously eating). I would eat a salad, grapes, yogurt, a granola bar, etc. I seemed to operate better on a steady flow of food. But when I tracked my calories, it really added up. And I'd often be starving for something when I got home, when my willpower was weakest.

Not even two weeks in to the new job, and I can see where my new schedule might be a very, very good thing in helping me lose the weight and tone up. I'm waking up early to go to the gym. I'm going for walks with Elle in the evenings and weekends. (Including two runs/walks outside with the stroller this weekend when the weather was absolutely phenomenal.) I make dinner for us each night, and I'm trying to prepare healthy food (using a lot of recipes from Gina's Skinny Taste). The office is so small and I'm so new that I don't feel comfortable eating like I did at my old job - I'm eating my three square meals and sometimes a snack at night. (My weekend eating habits are still wonky, but you gotta start somewhere!) I'm not eating super late. There's no office candy jar. These people don't even know that I have a baking blog!

I'm still not as consistent as I'd like to be with tracking my calories (I've been using MyFitnessPal), but I'm taking steps in the right direction. I've worked out five days in a row, including three days before work. My clothes are fitting a bit better already, just a few weeks in my "re-commitment." I don't think trying to implement a complete life overhaul while undergoing the major transition to the new job and schedule is the best thing, but as a college friend of mine used to say, I'm just being "the best Kristin I can be." (Hi Cindy!) Being back at my pre-pregnancy weight isn't a bad thing, but since that number was a good 10 pounds above where I wanted to be anyway, I'm not pleased with where I am and how I am. Do I wish it were easier? Yes. But it is what it is. 

My goals are to tone up, feel better about myself and drop 18 pounds, which includes a few pounds that have always been a PITA to get rid of. (I'm down one already, whee!) I'm going to do it in a smart way and take it slow and steady with a combination of watching what I eat and working out. I want to be able to look at photos of myself and not cringe. Feel strong and fit. Have more energy.

And when I reach my goal, go shopping for a new wardrobe :)

Linking up with: