Florida hates us, part 2.

(I wanted the title of the blog to be "When did I move to Gotham City, and where is my Batman?" but I figured that might be a little wordy.)

Thursday started as a normal day. I went to the gym, did some wedding stuff, then went to work and was stressed out the entire time. To "relax," I was planning to go to Wal-Mart after work and get some shopping done - I had a new paycheck and a list of household stuff to buy. I had also promised a coworker I would bake for Friday, which was a particularly hectic day in the sports world: the start of high school football.

I left work around midnight. I often shop at Wal-Mart after work, and I started my leisurely shopping trip by looking at the clothes. I found a great workout tank top and a pair of shorts my friend Stef wanted, both on clearance. I briefly called Stef to check on what color she wanted, then continued on my way. I swung through the health and beauty area, browsed through electronics and crafts and decided to get serious about ending my shopping trip and end in the grocery area.

I had opened my wallet before approaching the clearance shorts because I had written down the style and size of shorts Stef wanted. I removed some coupons at that time, but as I approached the granola bars, I realized I had a coupon for those, too.

Wait.

Where's the coupons? Furthermore, where's my wallet?

My heart dropped. Then it started racing. I frantically looked my purse again. Then my cart. Then I started tracing my steps. Then I checked at the service desk. No one had found a wallet. They suggested I ask the associates in the departments I was shopping in ... they helped look, but they didn't see anything. Then I found two associates - the one thought I was looking to buy a wallet and steered me toward purses. The other understood what I was asking. She told me a manager could look at the surveillance video and see if anyone had taken it or if I had dropped it.

We found the manager. He asked where I had been, when I last saw the wallet, etc. He then said he'd go look at the video. Meanwhile, I walked around the store three more times (I am proud to report I did not cry, although I really, really, really wanted to). I called Tim and told him what happened. I waited for the manager. He came out and said he'd followed me on the video as I shopped throughout the store, and no one approached my cart. He was sorry, but I could leave my info and I would be called if anyone turned it in.

That was it. I had to leave everything there. Luckily, I had my keys and cell phone, but my seemingly relaxing midnight shopping trip turned in to the biggest, scariest hassle I've ever had.

I've always been careful with my purse/wallet. One of the associates assumed I left my cart unattended - I did not. The manager confirmed that. However, I am 95% sure I did not lose my wallet. I think someone stealthily walked by my cart and swiped the wallet from my open purse, which was in the top of the cart. It is - was - a big, heavy brown pocketbook, and if it had fallen, I would have heard it.

Tim arrived as I was canceling one of my debit cards. He had been leaving work when I called, and he could tell I could use comfort and support, so he showed up without my even asking him. He also offered to take me shopping :-) But it was so good to see him after the ordeal of the night. We ended up going back to Wal-Mart to see if they had found the wallet and to buy the things I needed for the promised baking.

I canceled almost everything that night - there were two company credit cards that I did the next morning. I got a new license. I requested replacement car insurance cards, student ID, Starbucks gift card and AAA card but still need to request my health insurance cards. I lost $1 - ONE DOLLAR! - a Kohl's gift card and a Target card with a $4 balance. My gym membership auto drafts from my debit card, and apparently I didn't "catch them fast enough", so I'll owe a $15 card cancellation fee to them. A woman at Beall's, a department store here, took pity on me and gave me a completed discount card, which was also taken.

I walk away with no credit cards, the inconvenience of having to set everything up to bill out of different accounts, lost movie rental cards, lost photos and business cards and stamps, a $5.25 fee to replace the license (you know, the one that gets replaced in 2.5 months anyway when I have a new last name), the unnecessary memorization of the Discover account number I've had since age 18, the need to skip my much-needed workout while I got the new license, the loss of being able to make some huge payments on credit cards today with last week's 11 hours of overtime (now held hostage in bank account land) and the increased desire to trust no one.

I went to Beall's and bought an ugly lime-green wallet with wrist strap. This way I'm more likely to see it snatched or dropped, and I'll glue it to my arm so no one can take it. I'm slowly refilling it.

Next up? I'm sure we'll be hit by a hurricane. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll need a new transmission.

I realized that Florida has been bad, bad, bad for Tim and I and crime. Two years ago, my car was spray painted. I got most of the paint off, but it was done in the parking lot of the Times, which is "protected" by security guards. I had parked right near the lit walkway, and they said they didn't see anything. Sigh. Then the condo. Double sigh. Now this. Triple sigh.

And this ends the latest installment in our soap opera, which also served as my current procrastination tool to get out of homework. Ta-da!