A special day

Today is my good friend Jen's wedding day. Jen and I have known each other since middle school and shared many special memories through high school (photo at right is from our senior year at LHS) and college. We were in German class together, served as officers of German Club and National Honors Society together, went to the same church, took the same advanced placement and honors classes, attended colleges about an hour apart, shared an intense love of Walmart and have very similar morals and values. Her family essentially adopted me the weekend of senior prom, when my family attended my sister's college graduation. Our birthdays are five days apart, so we often celebrated them jointly.

Me, Jen and Megan, a good friend who happens to have a birthday five days after mine, celebrating our quarter-century mark at the Pittsburgh Zoo.

Jen was in my wedding two years ago and went to a reunion for her college honor fraternity that night, where she connected with Mark, who would become her fiance about eight months later. Soon after Jen got engaged last summer, she asked me to be a bridesmaid, and I excitedly agreed.

When Tim and I found out we were expecting, I didn't think it would create any issue except that I'd be uh, the wee bit larger member of the bridal party. But after we met with the doctor and our pregnancy progressed, it became clear that the timing was a *little* tight. Because we didn't know what would happen with the pregnancy - mainly, if there would be any complications - I decided that I probably shouldn't be a definite in the bridal party, because I couldn't know for sure that I'd be able to be there. I planned to attend as a guest, but I didn't want Jen to worry about whether she'd have me as a bridesmaid or not. When I brought the wedding up at one of our first prenatal visits, the doctor warned me that it was right on the cut-off of when he recommends/allows plane travel (34 weeks). Many airlines won't even allow pregnant women to fly after 34 or 36 weeks without a note from their doctor, so I knew he wasn't being ridiculously, well, ridiculous.

In the Gulf of Mexico, summer 2008.

But I held out hope that I'd at least be able to attend as a guest. At our appointment after my trip to Ohio for Jen's shower and bachelorette party (when I also had my baby shower), however, we asked the doctor again about mid-June travel. Although I've had a fairly uncomplicated pregnancy, the doctor was concerned that it was too close to the no-travel cutoff, and while he wouldn't give me a straight "yes, you're allowed" or "no, you're not allowed" answer, he made it pretty clear that *he* wouldn't do it, and he didn't recommend it. He didn't think anything would happen on the flights, but he worried about me going in to labor while in Ohio.

At Jen's bridal shower in April!

Tim and I talked about it a lot, and in the end, we knew that as much as I wanted to be there for Jen's big day, I'd never forgive myself if something happened to the baby. It was a really emotional decision (Tim is getting to be quite the pro at trying to comfort his sobbing, pregnant wife), and when I told Jen, she was very understanding about it and completely understood that I was making the decision I felt necessary for me and Elle.

I know deep down that this was the best decision for our growing family, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm missing a huge day in the life of a close friend. It doesn't change the fact that once again, living far away from our friends and family has created some tough choices. But ultimately, I'm there in spirit and can't wait to hear all about it and see the millions of pictures I expect everyone to take :)

I sent Jen a package with little gifts to open on the 12 days leading up to her wedding. We've talked a lot this week, and I've been keeping tabs on when the pedicure appointments are, when the hair is being done, when the vows are being said and when the photos are being taken :) She's doing a cookie table at her wedding, like we did, and I sent Strawberry Cake Mix Coolers as a Florida contribution :) Jen sent me a package to open on the day of the rehearsal dinner, full of adorable, thoughtful bridesmaid gifts, like flip flops, a photo frame, a super sweet card and a gorgeous tote bag. Today I'm wearing the necklace she sent, too.

Jen, I am so, so happy for you and Mark and wish you both a lifetime of love and laughter. I wish I could have been there with you today, and I hope your special day goes perfectly and is everything you hoped for and more!