A 2011 letter to Elle

Dear Elle Belle,

You are such a fun little person. You're definitely expressing your likes and dislikes more clearly, and I think Daddy and I are really starting to get the hang of your "language." There have been times where you clearly are desperate for sleep, and I watch your eyes roll back as your lids close when we pop a pacifier in and rescue you and rock you to dreamland. There are times when you're deliriously happy, like when I run behind you in the stroller and say "Boo" every time it gets close. You think that is the greatest game in the world. You demonstrate anticipation now - when we turn the music on your jumperoo, you look to Daddy to see him do his silly dance that always makes you grin and bounce. You are sooooo easily distracted these days - when you're nursing, you love to just look around, at the TV, at Daddy, at me, and you give me this shocked, coy little expression, like you forgot I was there or what you were doing. You're starting to "ask" for our approval when you are approached by people who aren't familiar to you - when people talk to you and say what a pretty girl you are, you look to me, almost to ask "Is this person our friend?" Then when you see me, you give them a happy smile, prompting even more comments from them about how adorable or precious you are.

And we agree.

You are by far more precious than I ever could have imagined. Even in your most frustrating of times, you are amazing. I love the way you cuddle in to the crook of my arm when you're drifting off to sleep. I love feeling the soft fuzz on the top of your head as it brushes my chin before I lay you down in your crib. I love how frantic and excited you are before eating - soooo much like your mama there :) I love hearing you suck your thumb - a sure sign that you're drifting in to a deep sleep. I love your big smile as you crane your neck to see who is coming to visit you after a night's sleep. I love the little grin you give me when I snap you in your car seat, like we have a secret agreement about you riding in the back, me in the front, and you'll see me soon. And the same grin greets me when I come to take you out of the car. I love the way you now look at the door when you hear the key in the lock, excited to see Mommy or Daddy walking in. You think it is hilarious when we use sign language with you - I think you're starting to get it, you're just not sure what "it" is.

I think we're really starting to figure you out on your sleeping, and that makes Mommy extremely happy. You're no longer the tiny baby that can sleep anywhere, anytime, but I now know your (current) trends, and by "protecting your naps," you are happier and typically sleep better at night. We have to schedule our days a little bit more than we used to - a late morning grocery trip might need to be moved up so that you can be home for nap time, or we might skip mommy/baby group because you're asleep when we'd be needing to leave. But we're not housebound by any means, and I remain fascinated (and mystified) by your sleep cues and cycles.

You make this odd little yell when you're ready for your nap - it precedes fussing or crying, and I know when I hear the yell that I have a very short window to get you in the crib. If I hit the window correctly, we'll play your seahorse for you once or twice, and you will soon flip yourself over on to your stomach (your preferred sleeping position) and put yourself to sleep. You've done this several times now for your morning naps, and sometimes your afternoon nap, and you sleep so much better and deeper when you drift off on your own.

You've also started to wake from your naps quietly and calmly - I hadn't heard a peep from you the other day, and when I opened your door, you were quietly lying in a corner, looking up and around at the crib. Related: You've suddenly rediscovered the skill of rolling from your tummy to your back, and you do it almost accidentally now, without fanfare, as you reach and grab for various things around you.

Your little butt is going up in the air, and you're just starting to figure out what your arms can do in terms of rocking you back and forth. I feel my next letter will detail your latest endeavors to scoot and crawl. 

You've got a big doctor's appointment coming up in a few short weeks - sadly, it will mean more shots, but you'll be weighed and measured again for your big six-month well-baby visit. Daddy and I are excited to talk to the doctor about starting you on solids, and we'll also discuss your sleep habits. I have a hard time believing it has been almost six months since you were born. We'll be moving up to the 6-12 month mommy/baby group soon! Every Saturday I wake up and think about that one Saturday in July when I hadn't slept, and I woke your Daddy up to get ready to go to the hospital, knowing you were going to arrive soon. I didn't realize HOW soon. We always announce to each other how old you are if we look at the clock on a Saturday morning and it is any where near 11:28. We'll ask you "Elle, how does it feel to be 23 weeks and two minutes old?!" And you have no clue what we're saying or what it means to us.

You are loved, baby girl, by so many people, in so many ways, for so many things. Despite my threats to send you to Grams during your recent sleep issues, I never *really* meant it, and we'll definitely keep you, smelly diapers and all.

Love,
Mommy