Got milk?

I try to be a generous person. What I don't have in time (because c'mon, I work full-time, have a 40-minute commute to and from work, take care of our household, try to have a life and spend time with my husband ... and oh yeah, I also work full-time for Elle, Inc.) and money (newsflash: journalists don't make a ton of dough), I try to give in sentiment. I feel very strongly about several things, so rather than donate or volunteer for every charity or cause under the sun (or ask my friends and family to donate to every charity and cause under the sun), I pick the ones that are closest to my heart.

I have donated some rather off-the-wall stuff in the last decade or so. In college, I chopped off 10 inches of my hair and donated to Locks of Love. Last year, I shipped my wedding dress to Brides Against Breast Cancer.

And now? I've donated breast milk.

Yeah, I know.

But hear me out.

I pump once while I'm at work and then once on the way home from work. (And when I first returned to work, I was pumping twice at work and once on the way home.) I usually produce enough for at least three bottles in those sessions, and Elle only needs 1-2 bottles while I'm at work. So each week, I have a surplus of milk - lately, I freeze about 50 ounces of milk each week. I have to keep pumping to a) keep up my supply and b) prevent engorgement/other problems, so reducing the pumping sessions isn't a real viable option right now. I freeze the milk, and at first I was rotating in a bottle of frozen milk every day, but then I just got away from that, and the freezer stash grew. And grew. And grew, to epic proportions.

At that point, I realized Elle would never need that much frozen milk. I plan to breastfeed her until she's at least 1, and after that, we'll see what happens. I really would like to stop pumping at that point, but for now, the stash has been growing and outweighing our need.

So I asked my breastfeeding support group about ways to donate milk. Several of them suggested national milk banks, which I had heard about. There are a lot of national milk banks that accept donated milk. They often require a minumum amount of milk (like 200 ounces), and with most of them, there is (understandably) a lot of paperwork to fill out. Another issue specific to me is that I'm on a low dosage of a precription medication. These banks accept milk from mothers on some medications, but when I contacted them to find out if I could donate, they said they were unable to accept a donation from me. The amount of medication that Elle might get from my milk is minute, but when the donated milk is pooled together, my little bit of medication might be added to milk from a mother taking a different, incompatible medication, or result in milk that has a high amount of medication. Totally understandable.

But another member of the breastfeeding group mentioned a more grassroots, person-to-person group. 

I joined the group on Facbeook - it used to be called "Eats on Feets" but is now "Human Milk 4 Human Babies." I joined the Florida Facebook group, and there are discussion groups where moms can post requests for and donations of expressed breast milk. There are FB pages for various states and regions.

My first donation - about 220 ounces of milk.

Soon after I joined and posted that I had extra milk, a mother from a few hours away contacted me. She has a severe case of psoriasis and needed to take a strong medication that would prevent her from breastfeeding for an extended period of time. I was up front with her, explaining that I drink caffeine in moderation, occasionally drink alcohol and was on a low dosage of prescription medication. She checked with her lactation consultant and decided that the milk was safe for her daughter. Another mom was donating milk to her, and we met up so she could get my milk to take the rest of the way to the mom in need. I ended up giving her about 220 ounces of my oldest milk, which had been stored in a deep freezer.

A few weeks ago, I realized our freezer was being overtaken by plastic Lansinoh bags again and posted on the group's FB page. A few moms inquired about the milk but weren't comfortable taking milk that might contain traces of a prescription medication.

But last month, I received a message from another mom who is no longer able to breastfeed or pump for her son because of health issues. Her supply was dwindling, and I had stockpiled another 200-300 ounces that a) I didn't need and b) was taking up precious space in our chest freezer. Her son was premature and has a lot of health problems. We met up at our local Target and "exchanged the goods." (Seriously, it's kinda weird - Tim asked if I was selling my breast milk, like on the black market. Not so.) 

I know it's not for everyone, but for moms who are committed to providing breast milk for their babies and are unable - for whatever reason - to produce any or enough milk for their child(ren), donor milk is an amazing option. The pro (and con) of this group is that there aren't regulations or a governing body - no forms to fill out, no requirements to be met ... it's all based on the comfort level and honesty of the donor and the recipient. The first mom I donated to requested copies of my bloodwork from my OB, and some moms who donate require signed releases denying liability.

There are so many women who have milk to donate, and so many mothers and babies in need. It's been fascinating to see this network unfold. Mothers drive hours to pick up or deliver milk. Others will mail their milk for only the cost of shipping and handling. Some moms provide milk or need milk while in town on vacation for a week or two.

It's a community I never imagined existed and certainly never pictured myself joining, but I'm touched by the generosity and grateful for the chance to help others.