Parenthoodlyness

Before Elle was born, I would go to the post office, grocery store, doctor, etc. without much conversation with strangers. When you have a baby, though, EVERYONE wants to talk to you. Actually, even if you're just sticking-out-to-here with baby belly, EVERYONE wants to talk to you.

When you're pregnant, everyone gives you advice. The focus is on you - make sure you rest, make sure you enjoy every minute, make sure you do/don't get an epidural, you look great, you look like you're about to pop, you're going to love being a parent, you're never going to sleep again.

Out-Of-Utero-Baby rocking
a decidedly pink outfit.

When you're toting around Out-Of-Utero-Baby, though, the attention is allllll on the baby. And understandably so. "Oh, the baby is soooo cute!" "She looks like a good baby." "Does she sleep well?" "She has such pretty eyes." At this point, the parents get indirect attention and must learn how to handle the awkward comments/compliments/questions from perfect strangers (that, my friends, could be an entire series of blog posts).

(And if you're like us and seemingly dress your daughter in frilly, girly - dare I say pink - clothes all the time EXCEPT when you go to the grocery store, you'll never visit the deli counter again without being told you have an handsome son. Seriously. Almost without fail, when we go to Publix, Elle is mistaken for a boy because she's in blue/red/not-something-pink-or-purple/flowery. We're starting to intentionally plan her wardrobe for grocery days. Sorry, Baby Girl!)

But there's an entirely different level of conversation that now takes place - the one between parents.

In my observations, there are virtually no boundaries when you're talking to other parents. If I go to the doctor, I keep to myself and thumb through a magazine or play with my phone while in the waiting room. This week, though, I had to take Elle to the pediatrician, and it was instant conversation with the mom of a 9-month-old boy, Cole, and a family with a 3-year-old girl and 9-month-old girl.

Cole's mom and I talked about the nine-month vaccinations; the eating habits of our kids; the fact that Cole likes to be on his back or standing, while Elle would rather sit or crawl. Cole's full head of hair made Elle look like James Taylor. I watched the 9-month-old baby girl stand and play with toys in the waiting room, marveling at how tall she is (30.5 inches!). She was quiet but alert and had intense, bright blue eyes. These babies were less than four weeks apart in age but allll over the board in terms of development, habits and size.

But this is what makes this little "secret society" so fascinating - each kid is so different, such an individual, but the bond of parenthood? It unites. Like Super Glue. I've always said that kids are great conversation starters, but I never knew just how true that was until I had Elle. I love sharing that "Mom-bond" with others, but I have to admit I'm still a little taken aback by the conversation. I'm not sure how much to volunteer, what to say that won't be judged, what to ask that doesn't make me look lame or a newbie. Cole's mom talked about how he eats nine jars of food a day; with baby-led weaning, I don't measure in jars. She mentioned how many ounces he drank in his bottles; since I breastfeed Elle, I don't have the same measurements.

Then a couple emerged from the examination rooms with a car seat containing a 6-pound, 7-ounce, one-week-old baby boy, and the bond re-emerged. We stopped and looked at the tiny baby and wondered how our nine-month-olds were ever that small. I always hated when people told me Elle was "so small" when she was two weeks old, one month old, etc. But here we were: The annoying parents of no-longer-newborns, talking about mobility, solids and teeth, in awe of this tiny wonder.

Elle continues to grow, from that newborn in to a (gasp) almost-10-month-old joy, but the many sides of parenthood? Also evolving.