Monkey see, monkey ... oh, crap

Over the last few months, it has become rather obvious that Elle (like most kids her age) is quite impressionable. We've been mindful of our language around her, and I've been conscious of trying to keep things positive around her - instead of lots of "nos" we try to reserve the word for only serious things, and we try to redirect her whenever possible.

I've tried to watch my language and behavior around her, knowing that if she's picking up words from us at the speed of light she's also probably picking up on the way we act. (I just read this blog post, too, which makes me a) laugh and b) really think about what I'm saying, haha.) She mimics cleaning, calling herself "helper" and walking around with a little brush and dust pan. Unfortunately, she also has started putting things in the trash can - things that don't necessarily belong in the trash can.

A few recent incidents have jumped out at me as signs that we've got to try harder to be "good" around the little one.

Tim told me that Elle said "Kitty, no" to one of the cats when he was clawing at the armchair. I thought it was cute ... but realized that she had picked that up from me.

Tim and I call each other "Hon" a lot. One night around Thanksgiving, Elle was sitting in the kitchen trying to get Tim's attention, and we realized what she was repeatedly saying: "Hon. Hon. Hon. Hon." (Sometimes he seriously doesn't listen! I can't take all the blame for her picking that one up from me.)

Then she started throwing her sippy cup off her high chair with an "Oh no. Dop it." Within the day, "Dop it" became a clear "Stop it." Like when I was clipping her nails, and Elle told me "Stop it. Stop it." Or when she tossed each crayon she was using off her high chair tray with a "Stop it."

There is also the fact that she will prance around and say "Sit down. Good girl." She'll plop on her butt, then repeat the whole thing. It's pretty funny, but ... in the bathtub, she likes to stand when I wash her hair - I tell her to sit down, then tell her she's a good girl. Got it. My 16-month-old is mocking me.

She is such a little sponge.

Some of it is cute and harmless, like when she says "oh man" any time her block towers crumble (usually because she's knocked them down). Or when she says "Buh bye, see you" to anyone and everyone she meets.

But there are other times when I wonder how she perceives us, and our interaction with her, evidenced by the fact that she said "Up" to me this weekend, I said, "Why, Elle? There's nothing up here." And now she constantly says "Up - why? Up - why?" as well as sometimes just "Why?" as an auto-response when we're exasperated. 

I watch her and other kids at church and other places interact and try to see what adult behavior is reflected in the little ones. What part of their play is directed by us, influenced by us? I find myself picking up cues from some of my mommy "role models" and learning how to diffuse some situations, handle others. But not everything they do works for me. I'm my own type of parent. And my kid is different from their kid(s). The situations are hardly ever identical.

As Elle has gotten older, even in the last few months, I've been especially aware of how she picks up on the way I act, the words I say. But apparently some habits have been learned, and I'm sure they won't be the last. I'm not perfect, but holy crap - there's no clearer mirror to my own behavior than a 32" tall toddler.