As 2012 draws to a close, I have to say I am not really going to miss it. This time of year should be filled with hope and promise, and I'm ready to stop dwelling on how I feel like this year was a bust - a year where I feel like things didn't go our way and a year where it feels like we got pummeled with bad news, tough breaks and disappointment. Looking back at my goals for the year, I didn't do terribly (I have done more things from Pinterest - just haven't blogged about them yet!), but many of my goals for 2013 are continuations on this year's progress.
So back to the hope and promise ... I really feel like 2013 has good things in store for us. We spent 2012 making some big decisions and big changes, some of which I've revealed on ye olde blog, others I have not. While it would have been nice to see more instant gratification, I appreciate that the extra time will better prepare us for when things fall in to place (like in 2013. Ahem.)
We also got a hefty dose of perspective in 2012 - health issues, scares and accidents within our families and tragedies that affected friends and the nation. There have been a lot of tears and prayers. There have been countless times when I've reminded myself to be thankful, grateful for what and who we have in our lives. We had an extremely stressful summer, and it definitely wore on me. I know next summer will be no breeze (hello, another July baby), but I am extremely excited about being parents for a second time.
There were several new friendships formed this year, as well as friendships that grew stronger. As I get older, I find that my time for friends is more and more precious, and so are my good, true friends. I don't want to waste time with friendships that frankly aren't good for me. Many of them have naturally, gradually faded - others will likely follow that course, and while bittersweet, in most cases it has been for the best. I hope to keep in better touch - whether it be regular calls, e-mails or visits - with the friends that truly matter.
There were other good things that happened in 2012, lest I make it sound like the Worst Year EV-A. We made a lot of financial goals and progress in 2012. We were responsible consumers, as we sold some stuff (a camera, our fairly new laptop) to purchase some other stuff (a newer, fancier camera and an iPad). We took a few trips home to Ohio. I ran my first 10K. We officially joined a church. We celebrated Elle turning two. We started Elle in a new daycare. Tim and I have both been challenged at work. I've had a lot of fun and met a lot of new people through my design business. We conceived another child.
I'm hoping that we get some big breaks in 2013 and that good health sticks with us (and our family and friends) for the coming months. I hope we travel more, and to places other than just Ohio (no offense, fam and friends). We have some long weekend trips in mind as well as some possible destinations for longer trips. I hope I can run more - even though I'm pregnant, I plan to continue working out, and when I had Elle a key in maintaining my sanity and getting back in pre-pregnancy shape was running. I'm going to track my mileage for the year and hope to run in a few 5Ks or a 5-miler in the fall. I hope we continue our 2012 trend of saving more and spending less. I hope we move out of our condo. I hope to surround myself with more people who positively affect our lives. I hope to continue growing our relationship with our church family. I'm going to take a photography class to learn how to better use the previously mentioned fancier camera. I'm going to work on personal projects. I'm going to be more generous with my time and money (without sacrificing my mental health). Once I get my energy back (c'mon, second trimester!), I'm going to be a functioning human being again (had to throw it in there).
2012 hasn't been the worst year yet, but I'm hoping for big changes, a healthy baby and much, much happiness in 2013. (Oh, and a potty-trained toddler would be nice, too.) I predict (and hope, and know) that 2013 will be more stressful and full of transition, but I see lots of good changes and love in the coming year. Happy new year, all!
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Ch-ch-changes
For the first year since 1996, I've started the year not working for a newspaper. From high school to college to four newspapers after graduation, every new year has been consistent in that way. And while I've been out of journalism for almost four months, I still feel like a huge chunk of "me" is missing.
Don't get me wrong - work wasn't my life, and there were definitely reasons, both short-term and long-term, that I left the industry. But when you do something for so long, and it consumes so much of your life, I think it's natural to feel like a little bit of your identity is shaken when it's gone. Many former journalists left the business for something similar - where they're still writing, dealing with the news, editing, etc. Or they kept a schedule similar to what they had when they were in journalism. Moi? While I deal with graphic design occasionally, it's nothing like designing an entire sports section every night. I am on a completely opposite schedule from the one I worked for the better part of more than a decade. A lot of my friends still work for newspapers. Oh. And my husband still works for a newspaper.
Tim and I still "talk shop." I'm still extremely at ease visiting him in a newsroom. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it isn't hard sometimes, to talk about a big news story or a deadline issue, and not feel a tug at my journalistic heartstrings. My job change has definitely skewed our work convos dramatically. And I was only minimally surprised when I was talking to a close friend from my former newspaper and referred to something as a decision "we," as a paper, had made. I find myself doing that a lot - "we" or "us" - and then backtracking to clarify.
Maybe if I had left the industry sooner it wouldn't feel like such a huge part of me is in transition. It's not like I don't have other, bigger roles in my life - mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend. I have other passions and creative outlets. But I think that's part of it, too - my work was a creative outlet. I don't have a lot of free time for "fun" design projects anymore (something I am changing in 2012). I spend a lot of time at a computer, but the ebb and flow of newspaper downtime and crunch time isn't there anymore.
And there's a self-confidence issue at play in my little identity crisis. I wasn't the best newspage designer in the world - not even close. But I was good at it. I knew it inside and out. I was confident and comfortable. I was calm under pressure. After being at my last paper for more than five years, I think people knew what to expect from me, and I knew what to expect from them. There was a familiarity there, too. People knew about me - about my husband, my daughter, the fact that none of our family lives within 1,000 miles of us. They were there with celebrations when I got married and cake when I was about ready to pop out a baby. They knew when I was in a good mood or when they should probably avoid me. They moved mountains to make sure I could be with my family when my grandma died, despite the fact that it was the busiest weekend of the year, our boss had worked like 20 days straight and the other designer was recovering from emergency surgery.
We all shared glances when anyone dared to plan a wedding, baby or vacation for football season (hand raised for being guilty of taking time off for both a wedding and a baby during the busiest sports season, but hey, life happens). Since these are all pretty big life factors and events, that sense of community is something that sticks with me.
To all the people who have heard me whine and complain about how I was tired of working nights, exhausted by my commute, beyond over working holidays and about ready to blow my top because of certain coworkers, I know this sounds like I've had a complete change of heart. Not true. But it's hard to completely dismiss something that was such a big part of my life - of me - for so long. It deserves the chance to be mourned, for lack of a better description. And I'm not saying that my current job and coworkers are awful and insufferable. The circumstances are just different, and I'm slow to completely acclimate. Any change so drastic - from actual work, schedule and environment - has to be granted an adjustment period, and I'm in the thick of it.
Life in newspapers isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs. However, in this time of major change in my life, I'm conscious of where I've been as I try to figure out where I'm going.
Don't get me wrong - work wasn't my life, and there were definitely reasons, both short-term and long-term, that I left the industry. But when you do something for so long, and it consumes so much of your life, I think it's natural to feel like a little bit of your identity is shaken when it's gone. Many former journalists left the business for something similar - where they're still writing, dealing with the news, editing, etc. Or they kept a schedule similar to what they had when they were in journalism. Moi? While I deal with graphic design occasionally, it's nothing like designing an entire sports section every night. I am on a completely opposite schedule from the one I worked for the better part of more than a decade. A lot of my friends still work for newspapers. Oh. And my husband still works for a newspaper.
Tim and I still "talk shop." I'm still extremely at ease visiting him in a newsroom. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it isn't hard sometimes, to talk about a big news story or a deadline issue, and not feel a tug at my journalistic heartstrings. My job change has definitely skewed our work convos dramatically. And I was only minimally surprised when I was talking to a close friend from my former newspaper and referred to something as a decision "we," as a paper, had made. I find myself doing that a lot - "we" or "us" - and then backtracking to clarify.
Maybe if I had left the industry sooner it wouldn't feel like such a huge part of me is in transition. It's not like I don't have other, bigger roles in my life - mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend. I have other passions and creative outlets. But I think that's part of it, too - my work was a creative outlet. I don't have a lot of free time for "fun" design projects anymore (something I am changing in 2012). I spend a lot of time at a computer, but the ebb and flow of newspaper downtime and crunch time isn't there anymore.
And there's a self-confidence issue at play in my little identity crisis. I wasn't the best newspage designer in the world - not even close. But I was good at it. I knew it inside and out. I was confident and comfortable. I was calm under pressure. After being at my last paper for more than five years, I think people knew what to expect from me, and I knew what to expect from them. There was a familiarity there, too. People knew about me - about my husband, my daughter, the fact that none of our family lives within 1,000 miles of us. They were there with celebrations when I got married and cake when I was about ready to pop out a baby. They knew when I was in a good mood or when they should probably avoid me. They moved mountains to make sure I could be with my family when my grandma died, despite the fact that it was the busiest weekend of the year, our boss had worked like 20 days straight and the other designer was recovering from emergency surgery.
We all shared glances when anyone dared to plan a wedding, baby or vacation for football season (hand raised for being guilty of taking time off for both a wedding and a baby during the busiest sports season, but hey, life happens). Since these are all pretty big life factors and events, that sense of community is something that sticks with me.
To all the people who have heard me whine and complain about how I was tired of working nights, exhausted by my commute, beyond over working holidays and about ready to blow my top because of certain coworkers, I know this sounds like I've had a complete change of heart. Not true. But it's hard to completely dismiss something that was such a big part of my life - of me - for so long. It deserves the chance to be mourned, for lack of a better description. And I'm not saying that my current job and coworkers are awful and insufferable. The circumstances are just different, and I'm slow to completely acclimate. Any change so drastic - from actual work, schedule and environment - has to be granted an adjustment period, and I'm in the thick of it.
Life in newspapers isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs. However, in this time of major change in my life, I'm conscious of where I've been as I try to figure out where I'm going.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Goals for 2012
I follow a lot of craft/DIY/I-am-woman-hear-me-roar/tips for the household/etc. blogs. To be honest, most of the time I gloss over them in my Google reader. A lot of them don't seem to apply to me or aren't something I'm interested in at that point in time. (Or, most often, I just don't have time.)
But the other day, I starred one that I wanted to come back to, and really, it has the tone of the New Year's post that I've been tossing around in my brain for the last week or two. (There's a lot rumbling around in that vast, tumbleweed-y space called my mind :))
I didn't make resolutions this year. Really, I find that I'm constantly trying to resolve to better myself, and then I always end up feeling like I'm trying to self-improve too many aspects at one time (stop biting my nails, lose weight, be more patient, craft more, read more, try more new recipes, etc.) and I freak out and fail at all of them. For me, resolving to do things is very serious and very intimidating. The goal approach mentioned in the blog post from "How does she ...?" gave me a hopeful, realistic direction to go in for goal setting, not just for 2012, but for years to come.
So for the sake of record keeping, I share with you my goals for 2012, in no particular order:
1. Make myself a priority. It became painfully obvious to me toward the end of 2011 that I really need to take better care of myself. This includes more sleep, less self-imposed pressure, more time for "me," and more forgiveness of myself for not being able to get everything done that I feel like I should be able to. Not making myself a priority makes for a cranky, tired, stressed out me, and that doesn't help anyone. So I've already begun taking steps to achieve this goal, and I already feel better and a bit (A BIT) more mellow. I feel like most of the goals below will help with this goal, too.
2. Save more money. We met with an awesome financial adviser in November and December. I was terrified to go, thinking that he'd laugh, tell us that we were royally screwed and send us on our way home. Thankfully, he reassured us that although this is a tough economy and we face some obstacles (like the housing market and the fact that Tim is a bit older than me - and therefore closer to retirement - than me), we're "good savers" and our financial goals are achievable. Although I know that we're not the only ones stuck with property that we wish we could unload, and I know we're not the only ones with childcare/insurance/car/student loan/etc. responsibilities, it was just nice to hear someone who is a) pretty freaking smart and b) handles finances for a living tell me that we're not in terrible shape. We have some specific figures now that we need to meet, and while we've always tried to save wherever possible, I feel like we have a renewed sense of being budget-minded.
3. Simplify our lifestyle. This is a broad goal, but I feel like it will also help with the previous goals. We don't have a lot of space. We don't need a lot of stuff. So by purging all of the stuff we don't need or use, or not buying stuff that we don't need or won't use, we'll be able to get rid of the storage unit we've been renting for the last few years (translation: saving money). We're selling some stuff and donating other stuff, but just the act of getting rid of clutter has made me feel more at peace.
4. Simply my life. This one applies more to relationships. Over the last few years, with moves and new jobs and marriages and kids, the dynamics of many of my friendships have changed. I don't want to be stressed by unnecessary drama or invested in friendships that I feel are one-sided - I want to be able to put the time and energy I have available in to the relationships that truly matter to me. I'm not saying I always have time to talk or e-mail or visit the people I truly care about, but I don't want to waste mental and emotional energy on superficial connections. I don't want to waste time worrying about what people think or how they'll react to something I say or write - life is just too short.
5. Develop my faith. We're in the process of joining the church we've been attending for the last few months. The sense of community the church has provided and the reestablishment of organized religion in my life are comforting to me. It's hard living so far from friends and family, and it's nice to get to know this "extended family" at the church. I attended church often while growing up and through college ... and then I started to attend less frequently. I'm looking forward to the journey ahead, and thankful that we're doing it as a family.
6. Enjoy the ride. I guess this is a different spin on goal #1, but (cliche alert!) I want to live life more fully. Do more - like with all of the photos I have. Like actually getting around to creating the photo books for Elle that I've been wanting to do for 17 months now. I already accomplished one thing related to this - I hung a gallery of family photos that makes me smile every time I look at it.
I'd also like to tackle more things on Pinterest. (Sometimes I feel like it was created to mock me.) I'm going to make time for my hobbies, as well as make more time for Words with Friends and chilling on the couch. Be more spontaneous. Take more time to play with Elle - just play - instead of worrying about washing the dishes or whatever. I think just as I was getting in to a groove as a working mom, I switched jobs/schedules and have no groove whatsoever. I am trying to do too much and not doing any of it well at all, so I'm making a conscious effort to prioritize instead of do it all.
I'm excited about my goals - and the coming year! (And no, Nancy, I'm not pregnant :))
But the other day, I starred one that I wanted to come back to, and really, it has the tone of the New Year's post that I've been tossing around in my brain for the last week or two. (There's a lot rumbling around in that vast, tumbleweed-y space called my mind :))
I didn't make resolutions this year. Really, I find that I'm constantly trying to resolve to better myself, and then I always end up feeling like I'm trying to self-improve too many aspects at one time (stop biting my nails, lose weight, be more patient, craft more, read more, try more new recipes, etc.) and I freak out and fail at all of them. For me, resolving to do things is very serious and very intimidating. The goal approach mentioned in the blog post from "How does she ...?" gave me a hopeful, realistic direction to go in for goal setting, not just for 2012, but for years to come.
So for the sake of record keeping, I share with you my goals for 2012, in no particular order:
1. Make myself a priority. It became painfully obvious to me toward the end of 2011 that I really need to take better care of myself. This includes more sleep, less self-imposed pressure, more time for "me," and more forgiveness of myself for not being able to get everything done that I feel like I should be able to. Not making myself a priority makes for a cranky, tired, stressed out me, and that doesn't help anyone. So I've already begun taking steps to achieve this goal, and I already feel better and a bit (A BIT) more mellow. I feel like most of the goals below will help with this goal, too.
 |
| Napping babies make me mellow. |
3. Simplify our lifestyle. This is a broad goal, but I feel like it will also help with the previous goals. We don't have a lot of space. We don't need a lot of stuff. So by purging all of the stuff we don't need or use, or not buying stuff that we don't need or won't use, we'll be able to get rid of the storage unit we've been renting for the last few years (translation: saving money). We're selling some stuff and donating other stuff, but just the act of getting rid of clutter has made me feel more at peace.
4. Simply my life. This one applies more to relationships. Over the last few years, with moves and new jobs and marriages and kids, the dynamics of many of my friendships have changed. I don't want to be stressed by unnecessary drama or invested in friendships that I feel are one-sided - I want to be able to put the time and energy I have available in to the relationships that truly matter to me. I'm not saying I always have time to talk or e-mail or visit the people I truly care about, but I don't want to waste mental and emotional energy on superficial connections. I don't want to waste time worrying about what people think or how they'll react to something I say or write - life is just too short.
5. Develop my faith. We're in the process of joining the church we've been attending for the last few months. The sense of community the church has provided and the reestablishment of organized religion in my life are comforting to me. It's hard living so far from friends and family, and it's nice to get to know this "extended family" at the church. I attended church often while growing up and through college ... and then I started to attend less frequently. I'm looking forward to the journey ahead, and thankful that we're doing it as a family.
6. Enjoy the ride. I guess this is a different spin on goal #1, but (cliche alert!) I want to live life more fully. Do more - like with all of the photos I have. Like actually getting around to creating the photo books for Elle that I've been wanting to do for 17 months now. I already accomplished one thing related to this - I hung a gallery of family photos that makes me smile every time I look at it.
 |
| Gallery wall :) |
I'm excited about my goals - and the coming year! (And no, Nancy, I'm not pregnant :))
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