Happy birthday, dear girl! You are four now, and you are so excited about it. The lead-up to this birthday has been especially fun, because you understand the celebration more and have a better understanding of the concept of time, so you were able to anticipate much more than any other year.
The last year has been one of huge growth for you. You've learned so much on a mini-academic level - you can write your name now! - but you also grew in many other noticeable ways. Developmentally, you are no longer a baby. You like to try to dress yourself, get in and out of the bath tub, climb in and out of the car, all by yourself or with minimal, delayed help. Physically, you didn't pack on too many pounds in the last 12 months (you're a good eater but are also a ball of energy), but you definitely shot up a few inches. Shirts that fit you perfectly last summer are now allowing your belly to poke out.
I think the biggest - and hardest, for both of us - change this year has been in your emotional development. You are a pint-sized ticking time bomb, ready to go off in excitement and joy or tantrums and tears at a moment's notice. You know how to articulate your frustration, anger, sadness better than ever, but you also now intimately know the powers of stubbornness, manipulation and theatrics. In short, you are exactly like your mother, and we push each others' buttons in all the worst kinds of ways. You have figured out the differences in boundaries when you're with Mommy, Daddy, your daycare provider or a babysitter, and testing limits is one of your favorite hobbies. There have been some horrific battles and meltdowns, but there are also momentous snuggles and hugs. Even when we have disagreements or clashes, I hope you always know that there is always room for cuddles, Eskimo kisses and conversations.
We've been blessed to see the earliest of sibling interaction between you and Wesley. You are proud of him and want to protect him from others, but you can also be threatened by his presence (usually when he is around something you want to be playing with) and adamant in your dismissal of him. He adores you, though, and you gleefully feed in to his shrieks of excitement or start an exchange of giggles with him in your room when you wake up. Watching you two together makes my heart happy. You're an amazing big sister, and you haven't even gotten a real taste of what your life will be like with a younger brother sidekick. For as independent as you can be, you two are forming a forever partnership, and I don't think you can remember a time before Wesley was in our lives.
For all of the stubborn and strong-willed personality traits that you exhibit, your humor, compassion and sweetness shine through, too. You've had many new opportunities in the last year to interact with all kinds of new friends - ballet, swim class, tumbling, church and daycare have all provided new socialization chances for you. And you eat it up. You love new friends and love to know everything about them and want them to know everything about you. Daddy says that you're like Mommy and tend to be too familiar with strangers. I think it's good that you aren't shy or afraid to strike up a conversation. (Hopefully later in life you're learn that there are social cues that you've been ignoring, but that's not something we expect of you just yet.)
You are extremely creative but also thoughtful about how to play out the scenes in your head as you transfer abstract observations to other parts of your life in hilarious, intelligent ways. You love all things arts and crafts and express your imagination in so many different projects that totally blow my initial ideas or expectations out of the water. This age has been awesome for observing the way your mind works, and I can't wait to see more. I love listening to you talk when you think no one can hear you, and I love watching you create and play.
I have a feeling the next few months will be extremely challenging, rewarding and telling as you enter your first official school setting, attending a voluntary pre-kindergarten program five mornings a week for three hours each day. I think you'll love it and pray you'll thrive in the environment that we carefully researched and selected for you ... your transition in the "real world" has been calculated and slow, as we had babysitters in our home providing childcare for you in your earliest days, then transitioned to in-home daycare settings with just a few other kids for the last two years. You'll be attending a private school, which is the closest thing to a next perfect step in your climb to the real world that we could have imagined. I can't wait to hear about your days and your friends as you enter school, although I also know there will be trials and struggles and it will rip my Mommy heart to shreds whenever you feel lost or hurt as you navigate the world, which can be so beautiful and wonderful but can also, unfortunately, be incredibly unfair and cruel. I wish we could shield you from it or give you a manual on how to navigate it, but I hope that we can figure it out together and you stay the sweet, charismatic girl that we adore.
You are a true beauty, Elle Belle, inside and out, and for as much as it scares and exhausts me to care so much about you and for you, I am eternally grateful for that day four years ago that you were born. I scooped you up in my arms this morning and realized that you are five times heavier than you were when you were born - your legs wrap around my waist now instead of curling up under your body, and your cheek rests on my shoulder instead of under my chin. I am in awe that the sweet little bird-like baby that we welcomed in to the world that Saturday morning is now the solid, tanned lover of all things My Little Pony. You're destined for great things, and while I keep hoping that we're not screwing you up terribly, you keep making me proud and delighting me with all of your greatness.
I have loved the last four years with you, and although I hate how fast time is rushing past, I look forward to the future even more.
Love,
Mommy
