Birth story, part II

So I'm 6 cm dilated, 100% effaced, and it is "baby day."

People went in to high gear. A nurse, Gloria, came down from L&D to get us, and she told us that she'd passed a group of medical students and told them she had a "hot one" and started to take bids.

Yes, folks, all of a sudden the fact that I was likely having a baby sooner than later made me a hot commodity in the medical world. I told Gloria I was OK with being auctioned off as long as I got some of the money, or at least a margarita out of the deal.

Gloria took us up to the delivery room. As we passed the nurses station, we saw Dr. S had already arrived! I felt bad interrupting his weekend, but hey, I was a "hot one" and this show was already on the road! I was glad he was there, though, because he is the only doctor in the practice that I've seen throughout the pregnancy, and he was aware of my general thoughts and feelings on things during labor and delivery. It seemed that Dr. S had plans for later in the day, though, so if we didn't deliver by a certain time, the on-call doctor might end up finishing our delivery, so there was a *bit* of pressure put on us (well, at least a bit that I felt) to not drag things out.

I had a birth wish list (instead of a birth plan) loosely sketched out ... and I had left it at home. But I had talked with Tim, too (for oh, nine months or so), about my hopes for the delivery and feelings on interventions, and I was confident that even if I wasn't in a position to say something, he would be my advocate. Dr. S and Tim were aware that I was open to an epidural (Tim was aware that I wanted to be at least 5-6 cm dilated before I got it if possible), they were both aware that I was OK with a c-section, but only if it was medically necessary, they were aware that I wanted to be awake for a c-section if possible, and other than that, I wasn't too concerned about the use of Pitocin, breaking my water, etc., as long as it was discussed with me beforehand so I could weigh the options/risks/advantages and as long as it was going to help and still ensure a safe delivery and healthy baby.

But back to the delivery.

As I got settled in the L&D room, Gloria started asking me questions about my medical history. Then another nurse asked if I would allow one of the previously mentioned students in the room for the delivery. I said sure. (Hey, I am ALL about education.) Dr. S came in and I had another internal exam. Low and behold, I was now 7 cm dilated. He decided (even though I still wasn't on an IV, which apparently displeased the nurses) to break my water. Talk about the world's weirdest sensation ...

I was asked if I wanted an epidural. I thought for sure I would have said yes, but considering I was already 7 cm dilated and the pain was manageable so far, I wasn't as sure. I asked if it would get worse, and everyone sort of laughed and said yes, but if I got the epidural I would have to wait for the anesthesiologist, wait for the epidural to kick in, and then it could slow down the progress I was making. Gloria told me that most first-time moms who are dilated 6-7 cm come in to triage with sweat on their upper lip and are breathing heavy with each contraction, and she said that I was doing great. Since I could still get the epidural later if things got worse, I decided to hold off.

(At this point, I'd like to change the name of this blog post to "WHAT THE CRAP WERE YOU THINKING, KRISTIN?!")

Then I was given an IV (and told for the FIRST TIME EVER that I had beautiful veins - usually people complain about how tiny they are) and Gloria continued with the questions. I was allowed to tote the IV bags to the bathroom, and when I came out, I had another internal exam. The contractions (monitored in photo, above) were a lot more intense after my water was broken, and the exams were more uncomfortable. But now I was 8 cm dilated.

The nurses were busy preparing things and asking me questions. The doctor stopped in every once in a while to check on me, and I had - wait for it - another internal exam. Now I was 9 cm dilated.

Holy crap.

I knew the head was low, but now apparently the nose and head weren't quite lined up for optimal baby delivery, so the nurses offered me a birthing ball to try to rock a bit and get the baby in a better position. I was told that if I felt too much pressure or the need to push, I needed to call for the nurses, but the baby wasn't going to fall out if I sat on the ball. Stephen, the student nurse who had "won the labor lottery," brought me ice chips, and then the lights were dimmed, and Tim and I were left alone in the room for a few minutes. Tim fed me ice chips and rubbed my back between contractions, and after only a few minutes, the nurses were back in and wanted to check me again. Apparently this time I was 9.5 cm dilated. (I totally didn't realize until now how many checks I was having for dilation.) For the next little bit, the nurses and the doctor came in and worked on a piece of the cervix that was apparently creating a minor roadblock. I was told to push when I had a contraction, and then the doctor left and the nurses (mostly Gloria at this point) worked with me to push on every other contraction.

After no sleep the night before and the very fast-paced morning, I was absolutely exhausted, and pushing was the last thing I wanted to do. And since I'd never done this baby-birthing thing before, I didn't know "how" to push properly. I apparently was fighting against my two leg-holders (Stephen and Tim) and instead of relaxing my legs I was tensing up. Between that and the fact that I didn't seem to be making much progress, I was discouraged. I kept asking if the baby could just come out now.

The doctor came in and asked why I wasn't pushing with every contraction. I had some terrible back pain, and every time a contraction started I was supposed to tell the nurses. I sometimes considered not telling them, just because I wanted another break. But then apparently I needed to be pushing more, according to the doctor, so that was out of the question, sigh.

The nurses started having me move in different positions to see if that would help the baby's position. I was put on my side, got up on my knees, etc. I basically did a half-flip, contracting the whole time, in terrible pain. And apparently it still didn't do much to get the baby to move.

One of the nurses quietly told the doctor she thought I should get the epidural to relax me. She thought I would push better if I wasn't tensing up so much. The doctor told me that I could have the epidural or a c-section. He said if I didn't deliver in 45 minutes after the epidural kicked in, he was going to do a c-section, mostly because if the head wasn't in a better position at that point, it likely wasn't going to be at any point, and I think we'll all remember that it wasn't a tiny head, either.

I'm not the most decisive person. So when he gave me the two options, I was not thrilled, but I told him we could try the epidural. The biggest advantage of that is that if I had the epidural in place and needed a c-section, I could be awake for the procedure. If I didn't have the epidural and went straight to the c-section, I'd have to be knocked out and would miss the birth of my baby. I worried about the energy I still needed to push, even if I was more relaxed, but I figured it was the less invasive of the two options at that point.

But then the doctor, who seemed to be getting a bit impatient (perhaps that was just my exhausted perception at that point), did another check and announced that I was not getting the epidural. He said "the head was right there" and if I "didn't deliver now I wasn't going to be delivering vaginally and we'd be going for the c-section." So the decision was made for me. Then I wanted to go to the bathroom, but the doctor apparently didn't want me to bother with that, either, and I got a catheter.

At this point I knew I was running out of time and options. If I didn't push Elle out soon, we'd be having surgery. The doctor decided that Pitocin would "help" me - basically, the drug makes the contractions more frequent and more intense. Awesome! So now instead of having any time at all to rest, I was contracting pretty much constantly, and pushing with every contraction.