National Breastfeeding Week/Month

It's Breastfeeding Awareness Month! Actually, it's currently the last day of Breastfeeding Awareness Week as I'm writing this, and while I had intended to write up a recap on my breastfeeding experience after Elle had weaned, I figured I'd make it more timely and throw it up now.

There was never any question for me: I wanted to breastfeed. I find it fascinating that for so long, it wasn't encouraged, there was a stigma against it, that so few mamas were educated about it (and really, there is still a lot of misinformation and lack of support out there, which is sad). But all I knew is that I wanted my baby to have my breast milk, I wanted to save money by not buying formula, and as far as I knew, it would be a natural, easy, wonderful way to bond with my child. (Oh! And it would burn a bajillion calories a day!) In my mind, my breastfeeding experience would be rainbows and puppy dogs serene.

Alas, I was wrong.

I have several friends and friends-of-friends who are pregnant right now, and I am absolutely bowled over with happiness when I see breast pumps on their registries, find out they're signed up for or have taken breastfeeding classes or hear about their plans to breastfeed. I hope they find the support they need to make it work (and hope they know they can always ask me and I'll try to help them find an answer!) and relish the experience. It's not easy, but to me, it has been so, so worth it.

I've referenced this chart before, which breaks down the advantages of breastfeeding (for both mother and child), whether you breastfeed for just a few days or for a few years. I also wish I had seen this Web site 12-18 months earlier.

Even though the human body is designed to produce, deliver, receive, etc., breast milk, there's quite a learning curve for both mama and baby. And truth be told, I had it easy. Elle has a fantastic latch (we've even gotten compliments on it, which was all kinds of weird, but I digress). My milk came in when she was about three days old. She didn't have any allergy or avoidance issues (my sister-in-law has been on a gluten- and soy-free diet for about a year because my niece has an intolerance to them). By the time Elle was 2 or 3 months old, she had completely dropped a night-time feeding. I haven't dealt with any major supply issues. Over time, the length of her nursing sessions have decreased dramatically - she's become a much more efficient nurser.

But at first, it was exhausting. It's hard - but extremely gratifying - to be the one who is solely responsible for your little one's nutrition and to pass on important antibodies. Even when Elle started taking a bottle (once daily, around four weeks, to get her used to it), I still had to pump to keep my supply up. I sometimes felt like I was chained to a highly unpredictable feeding schedule - did I have an hour to run to the grocery store? What if she woke up while I was gone and needed to nurse? For a while, the best time for me to workout would have been early morning, but I was engorged (and therefore in pain if I so much as attempted any kind of cardio) until she woke up and nursed. I didn't want to pump and worry that there wouldn't be enough left to fill her.

Elle nursing when she was about four months old.
I love how she always put her hand on top of my breast
like she was trying to make sure I wasn't going anywhere.

I felt like I spent almost every waking moment of every day nursing her. She would nurse every 2-3 hours. But it would take 30-40 minutes for her to nurse. By the time she was done, it was almost time to start again. If we were planning on leaving the house, we had to carefully orchestrate a plan to nurse her before, during and after so as not to upset the tiny monster. At the time, it felt like it would last forever, and I honestly think those first 6-8 weeks were the absolute hardest in our nursing relationship. It would have been easy to quit. But I'm stubborn. I was told that it would get better. And it did.

Now it takes 5-15 minutes for Elle to nurse. She nurses 3-4 times a day. I can leave the house for hours at a time and not freak out that she'll have a meltdown about the missing milk. I'm very rarely engorged these days. Elle's so expressive now, too, in her need for breast milk, her desire for it and her enjoyment in it, that it takes a lot of guesswork out of things and makes it more rewarding. In short, it's a totally different world. It's awesome, and I would have missed out on it if I had stopped when it was really, really hard.

For me, nursing has been instinctual. Actually following my instincts has been more of a challenge, but basically, I had to stop thinking. Elle let me know when she was hungry, and I nursed her. She let me know when she was full, and we stopped. When she was going through growth spurts and needed my production to amp up, we nursed more often and my body got the signal to make more milk. I didn't worry about supplementing in the days before my milk came in - it's not necessary. She got colostrum and wasn't in danger of wasting away in the 72 hours before my milk arrived.

It can be so mental - stress can affect your supply. The baby can sense your tension. When I was stressed about not being able to pump very often at work, I received the sage advice of "Don't worry about the number of times you're able to pump. Just pump until you're completely empty when you can pump." Sickness can affect your supply. Lack of sleep can affect you. Bottomline, you need to take care of yourself when you're breast feeding. It's not a good time to diet. You need to drink a lot of water. And yes, you have to be mindful of how much caffeine or alcohol you take in (lucky for me, Elle isn't particularly sensitive to caffeine in my milk, so I don't have to worry about it much). You're even MORE limited in what kinds of medications you can and can't take than you are in pregnancy. Elle hasn't been sick aside from a sniffle or two all year (knock on wood), but I have had a few serious colds, and it has SUCKED to not be able to take anything for it. But it didn't last, and I lived.

I love that Elle will still occasionally nurse to sleep. I love being able to lull her to sleep on a plane. I love the expressions she makes. I love the way she'll start to laugh while nursing. I love how insistent and demanding she can be. I love the group of women (both in real life and in the blogging community) that I have met through the shared bond of breastfeeding. I love how Elle knows how to sign for milk. I love that we share this bond.

Originally, I wanted to make it to six months of exclusive breastfeeding. I didn't know how things would go when I returned to work and had to pump several times. I didn't know how things would go after we introduced solids. When we reached the six month milestone, I briefly thought I would shoot for nine months. But then I figured why bother stopping at nine months if things were still going well - I would have to worry about transitioning her to formula and spend the extra money for just a few months. So I set the new goal for one year. And now that we've reached that goal, I'm just going to let things ride out. My biggest focus now is eliminating my last pumping session. I enjoy nursing Elle first thing in the morning, and I think she'll phase out the mid-day feeding(s) soon, so for now, I'm just going to take my cues from her.

It's actually kind of sad now that I know we're nearing the end. I keep wondering how many more days she'll curl in my lap and dive bomb at my chest, or how many more times she'll crawl over to me in bed and claw at my shirt. I'm ecstatic that we've made it a far as we have and will treasure the moments - no matter how trying or frustrating they might have been at times - forever.