A departure

Things have been a bit busy over in the land 'o Sea Cow Circus. (I find that a lot of bloggers get "quiet" soon before they announce big news - any one else notice that?)

The biggest news around these parts is that I am starting a new job in a few weeks.

I've worked at four newspapers since I graduated college eight years ago. It averages out pretty well, but the first three jobs were pretty short-lived - six months, 15 months and 16 months. It seemed like every year I needed two W-2s for my taxes. But this job? I've been here for five years and three months.

Being at one place so long means I actually pretty much kinda know what is going on. I'm currently the most senior designer in my department. I get a nice chunk of vacation time every year. I have been lucky enough to work for an amazing boss and with some pretty awesome people. (There are some pretty not-so-awesome people, too, but I don't want to dwell on that.) The other designers and I, for as much turnover as there has been, operate as a pretty well-oiled machine. There are certainly good things about where I'm at, and many things that I will miss.

That being said, there are definite cons to my job (and if you're related to me or friends with me IRL, you've heard ALLLLLL about them for years. Or even if you've read the blog for a few months, haha). Newspapers are not exactly a thriving industry. Because of across-the-board pay cuts two years ago and the suspension of raises, I actually make less than I did when I was hired. Another five percent pay cut was announced three days ago. Benefits have become, well, less beneficial. I work nights, weekends and holidays. I drive about 60 miles round trip on toll roads (read: tolls are expensive and gas isn't getting cheaper). The time I spend in the car (45 minutes on the way to work, 35 on the way home) eats in to time I'd rather be spending at home with my family.

So when I saw this particular job posting, I decided it was worth at least applying for - I figured, no matter what, it was good for me to get my resume and portfolio updated and organized. I was called for an interview. I was called for a second interview. And then, after a weekend of my stomach being tied in knots, I was offered the job. After talking things over with Tim and some negotiations with the new company, I accepted the job the next day and told my current employer that afternoon.

My commute will take up less than 25 minutes of my day, tops. I won't work nights, weekends or holidays. I'll work from 8:30 a.m. until 5 p.m., and I'll come home and eat dinner with my family and put my baby to bed each night. The benefits and perks are awesome, and the company is growing. There's plenty of opportunity for me there.We'll be saving on gas and childcare. If there was an emergency and I needed to get home right away, I could be home in 10 minutes instead of driving across three counties.

There are moments - either dramatically quiet or ridiculously busy times - when I realize just how much I'm going to miss what I do. How it will feel really, really weird to NOT be doing it. Working in a newsroom on a Friday night during high school football is something that I've done pretty much every year. Being at work at the peak of baseball season is kind of second nature now. I'm far too familiar with the NHL, NBA, MLB and NFL draft processes. And working on deadline - on newspaper deadline - can be chaotic and comforting.  Some nights I nail my shift and am on top of the world, other nights I'm frustrated and want to drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine. My body might be tense and my stomach in knots, but I maintain a sense of calm and determination when we're down to the wire and just get. stuff. done.

The commute has *some* perks, too. Some nights when I enjoy the drive home, watching lightning arc across the water. Some days when I revel in the time alone in the car - whether listening to an audio book, catching up on phone calls with friends and family or just driving.

The biggest downside? The part that eats at me and makes me realize that right now, short-term, this isn't a bad situation at all? I won't spend the majority of my mornings and early afternoons with Elle. There are other big drawbacks, too - my night-shift-working husband and I won't be on similar schedules. Our gym routine, which is very important to both of us, is going to be up in the air for a while. Tim and I have had A LOT of schedule changes in the last 13 months, and this is probably the longest stretch we've gone without one. We're in a groove, and that's all going to be shaken up and turned upside down. My vacation time is going to be extremely limited for the next few years as I rebuild with a new employer.

I try to look at the positives, though: I had more than a year of working full time but being home with Elle for most of her awake time. In a few years, if I was still working my current hours, I would never see Elle, as her school schedule would be opposite my work schedule. She'll be with one of her parents for the majority of the time. The new schedule allows for more childcare options (I could go on and on about the problems we've had with childcare in the past 10+ months). With the new job, Tim and I will be able to eventually have an entire day off together each week. We'll have a few evenings a week at home, together, as a family. And if he ever goes back to working days, we'll ... *gasp* ... be "normal."

(The biggest downside for Tim is that we'll no longer alternate the morning wake ups ... which means he'll be working nights and getting up with Elle five days a week. I'm tired for him.)

It will be really odd to be on the outside of newspapers for the first time in a long time, but as one of my senior editors told me when I shared the news, a decision made for your family is never a wrong one. This decision is the right one for myself and my family, and while I'm nostalgic about this chapter being over, I'm excited about the next chapter and all of the adventures that will come with it :)