Early, sporadic pregnancy ramblings

Various, completely random things on my mind in the first few weeks of pregnancy ... combined in to one long rambling post for your, uh, enjoyment.

written 11.5.12

I didn't realize the symptoms would start quite so early in this pregnancy. Sure, I'd been on the lookout for symptoms for the last two weeks, but today, I experienced poor sleeping, excess saliva, nausea and cravings. I've been craving juice - apple juice - and lemonade and Sprite. And then brownies, too. I don't know what it is about pregnancy, but the mere thought of some of these foods make me crave them so intensely that I feel like I can focus on nothing else.

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Also, funny stuff happened in the office today. I am not going to tell anyone at work until after I get back from Ohio at the very earliest, but three of us were sitting in the office this morning before anyone else was in. One of the girls, M, said that she'd had a dream that our company's president was seven months pregnant. The other girl, L, laughed and said that was hilarious, and then M, who has had premonitions like this in the past, said that it might not be the company president but someone else in the company who was pregnant. L swore it wouldn't be her and said it would probably be me. I really, really, really wanted to say something then, but with my second-day-pregnancy-test-only-slightly-darker-than-the-first as my only real proof, I'm not comfortable spilling the beans to the masses yet. (This does not mean that I haven't already plotted how I'm going to tell almost everyone in my life.)

Apparently the last time M had a feeling about a pregnancy, she thought it was her sister-in-law ... and it was actually her cousin. This is spooky. Just a little over 24 hours after I found out, and people already "know."

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written 11.8.12

I don't remember the fatigue hitting so early last time. I fell asleep at 9 the last two nights, and then when I woke up when Tim got home I had a hard time getting back to sleep. Getting out of bed to go to the gym this week did not happen, unfortunately. I so desperately wanted that extra hour of sleep and couldn't imagine going the whole day without it. That's going to have to change, as I'm already concerned that even though I'm starting this pregnancy a few pounds lighter than the last, I'm not in as good of shape as I was last time, unless toddler wrangling counts as cardio.

I wish I could tell someone about the pregnancy so I could have someone understand the headaches, backaches, tiredness. Sigh. I'm also caffeine-free as of yesterday. I had been down to one cup of coffee a day, but now I'm going to go to decaf until after first tri, just for peace of mind. It's been almost amusing to be reminded of the different things I need to think about eating and drinking while pregnant.

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written 11.10.12

I really don't think this happened with Elle, but I'm nesting. Like, less than five weeks in to this pregnancy. I cleaned out my kitchen cupboards tonight - went through and tossed everything that was expired or near-empty and wiped out the shelves and reorganized everything that remained. I've been doing other things over the last week that didn't need to be done - I just felt moved to take care of them, right away. I stocked up on some stuff while grocery shopping today - not like we won't grocery shop for the next few months, but if I'm nauseous or tired at least I know that Tim and Elle won't starve.

This early nesting thing? It's weird. But good, I guess. I've been sleeping a lot the last few evenings and took a long nap today during Elle's nap time, but I have a feeling my energy is going to take further soon, and at least I will know the kitchen cupboards are clean.

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I took a Dollar Tree test on Thursday, I think, and it was finally positive. I've plotted ways to tell various family members and friends, and I'm excited but still a bit nervous. We're still very early in the game, and I don't have my first appointment with Dr. S until a month from today. I've had to keep from blurting it out to various people - I feel like our families should find out first, along with our closest friends - but I want to tell everyone I know.

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Tim is already referring to the baby as a he. The day we found out, we had our family photos taken and went out to dinner afterward. Elle kept telling us she was going to "celebrate the baby." And then "celebrate my sister." She's gone back and forth on it, but for the most part so far, she's Team Sister. I went for a run after I took the first positive test, and "Run the World (Girls)" by Beyonce played right before "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright III came on. I found that odd. I guess early on (you know, since we've known all of six days, although I did strongly suspect I was pregnant four days before that), I thought it was a boy for sure. Now I'm not sure. I had a strong feeling with Elle (and was right), but I feel like my emotions might be messing with me more this time. I will be happy with whatever gender we have - I just want a healthy baby. I've got reasons for looking forward to having a boy or girl, but last night, as I read a pregnancy app update for "what is going on today with your baby" (which isn't really fair because I've read about a month ahead and been around the block once before), I was struck by just how many things have to happen perfectly for a healthy baby to be born nine months after conception. Right now, baby's sexual organs are developing. But within the week, baby's heart will divide in to four chambers, among other huge developments. It's probably partly pregnancy hormones, but can you imagine how perfectly the chromosomes/stars/planets/etc. have to align for the development of a baby?! Mind blown.

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Pregnancy rambles over for the night. I think I'm going to start weekly updates this week, which might minimize my need for these mish-mash posts. Might.