Elle says the darnedest things ... (v. 7)

I have been collecting these for a while now ... last weekend, though, pretty much every other thing that Elle said was hilarious and quotable, and I found myself jotting down A LOT of funny stuff. I think we're definitely at an age where the conversations are going to be memorable and the insights priceless :)

Tim left to return to work after his dinner break.
E: "Where did Hon go?"

E: "The good news is Wesley is not crying. The bad news is you're not being helpful."

E: "Oh, you ruined my gravy!" (She meant graveyard. Doesn't everyone overturn chairs in their living room and pretend they're graves and yell at their mother when she tries to tidy up the "graveyard"?)

 
E: "Be patient."
Me: "Do you know what 'be patient' means?"
E: "What?"
Me: "It means you have to wait for something. Some people say the waiting is the hardest part. Do you agree?"
E: "I DO agree."

Stylin'.

I was battling a pretty awful cold. Tim came home for his dinner break and told me I looked thin and asked if I had been eating (I hadn't much because I had had no appetite, but not to the point of noticeable weight loss). Then the random compliments continued.
Tim: "Your face looks really clear, too."
Me: "Thanks, but my nose is just probably so red you don't notice any blemishes."
E: "Guys, STOP FIGHTING!"

Dr. Elle Belle: "You're going to be good as better!" (I guess "good as new" is overrated.)

E: "Mommy, I love your purple shirt. It looks pink."
Me: "It *is* pink."
E: "Oh."

E: "Why does Sidney have a tail?"
Me: "Because he's an animal, and some animals have tails."
E: "Do I have a tail?"
Me: "No."
E: "Why do I not have a tail?"
Me: "Because you're a little girl, not an animal."
E (turns her back to me): "But do I have a butt? Why do I have a butt?"
Me: "Hey, Elle, why don't we talk about Christmas?"

And sometimes, she rests.

Elle, talking about some hot chocolate I gave her in a heart-covered mug that Tim gave me years ago as part of a Valentine's Day gift: "I yove you for cocoa. I very yove cocoa. You gave it to me for Valentine's Day!"

E, talking about the story that I told her about the Valentine's Day mug: "Can you tell me that story again?"
Me: "Why?"
E: "Because I yove you!"

Elle had a cold and I was stroking her hair as she tried to go to sleep one night.
E: "Can you stop petting me? It's too tickly."

Listening to Wesley "talk" and explore the noises his mouth can make, I was reminiscing with Elle ...
Me: "Elle, do you know what your first word was?"
Elle: "What? My first word?"
Me: "Yes. Do you know what the first word you ever said was?"
Elle: "Ominous?"
Me: "Uh, no. 'Baby.'"

E: "Sorry Mommy. Is that for me to give you? I mean, do you forgive me?"

Having a tough night with the kids, including an Elle with a cold. She sums it up, though: "I yove Mommy. No one listens to her." 

E, after dropping a toy: "Ugh ... You've got to be kidding me!" (Another new one: "Oh man!")

 

It was "cold" in Florida, so as we were about to head out on some errands one evening I put on a large hoodie that I have permanently borrowed from Tim.

E: "You look like a hockey player." 

 

I told Elle about something that was going to happen tomorrow.

E: "Today?"

Me: "No, tomorrow."

E: "Is it Wednesday?"

Me: "Yes, Elle."

Elle: "Is tomorrow today?"

 

E: "Daddy, can you help put this foot thing on?"

Tim: "You mean shoe?" 

 

I grabbed some Bounty paper towels at the store because they were on sale. Elle told me I needed to get Sparkle (way to go, commercial with the memorable little pixie fairy). When we got home, I asked Elle to tell Tim about what paper towels I was supposed to get.
E: "Use Sparkle to clean big messes without your piggy bank."

 

E: "I have many toothpasteses."

 

Me, singing to the tune of "Won't You Be My Neighbor" at the grocery store: "Won't you be my baby?"

E, without missing a beat: "Won't you get a cookie?" 

Stripes are the new black.

On Groundhog's Day, we were having a random conversation. Elle was having trouble with the concept of time and wanted to know when Christmas was going to be. I was trying to explain that we had several other holidays and birthdays that would come before Christmas and she was frustrated.
E: "But we already HAD Thanksgiving!"

Me: "But those holidays and our birthdays happen every year, once a year. So you have a Valentine's Day, Halloween, Christmas and other holidays every year."

E: "And Hedgehog Day."

Elle had been watching TV in our bedroom while Tim worked in the living room and I put Wesley to bed. I peaked in to find her standing on the bed. When I took her from the bed and told her we don't stand or jump on the bed, she got very, very upset. I asked her what she'd been doing, and she said "But I was practicing flying!" In the words of Elle, "OH MAN."