Soul, sole: Getting back to working out in new shoes

I've been fighting a battle with myself for the last few months. To make a long story short, I hit a rut with my workouts and motivation, and it was easy to me to procrastinate resuming my regular workouts. There were a lot of balls up in the air for us this summer, and exercise slipped down the priority list. I figured once some of the balls fell in to place, I would go back to my workouts, but then whoever the heck was juggling the balls threw me for several curves.

While working out is normally one of my go-to stress busters, I chose an extra hour of sleep almost every time the alarm would go off for my gym wake-up call. I think part of it is also because I don't get a lot of time with Tim, especially during the week, so it was easy for me to give in to rolling over and cuddling as a way to eek out some extra time with him, and I justified it because my anxiety was at some seriously high levels. Bottom line, I've been depressed, and I know that when I'm depressed I need to work out. Not only are the endorphins scientifically proven to help a sista out, I feel accomplished and productive when I've knocked out a workout in addition to my full day of work and household stuff.

But I had a pity party (truthfully, I'm still having it, although I've limited it to part-time with a limited guest list), and I let myself make excuse after excuse. I've let "overwhelmed and exhausted" trump "accomplished and productive" far too many times. By some small miracle, the scale has been holding pretty steady, but my flab factor feels like it has skyrocketed, and my endurance has plummeted. I needed a swift kick in the pants. I have had no drive to get up early and go run on a treadmill. I have a much easier time talking myself in to a run outside, but because of daylight/Elle constraints, the opportunities there are limited.

Last week I realized that it was super easy to skip the gym when my feet always hurt. I have massive feet, and pregnancy did them no favors, so to say I struggle with suitable, affordable footwear would be an understatement. (Also, not sure if any of you are aware, but "cute" doesn't seem to be in Big Foot's vocabulary, so I struggle with that, too, with my non-athletic footwear.) I got new running shoes earlier this year, but I never really fell in love with them. The pair before that? LOVED them. Ran many a mile and race in them before reluctantly retiring them. But the current pair? Bleh.

I had taken them back to the running store where I had purchased them and explained that - within the first week - my toes hurt. They felt numb. I was advised to wear them more often to break them in - not just while working out, but more in general. They were so-so, and I worked out in them for months, but in the last few weeks, I started to suspect that our relationship was almost over. My toes ached constantly, and even the side of my foot screamed for days after any workout. So I went back to the running store, and the sales associate took one poke at them and said "These are too small." (WHERE WERE YOU EARLIER THIS YEAR?!) So we tried some other shoes, larger sizes, etc. The big issue with my feet that they are not only long, they are wiiiiddddddeeeee. So we tried new shoe after new shoe, and finally, she asked "Have you ever tried men's shoes?" I had not, but apparently men's shoes are wider and often work well for people like me with ginormous feet.

Men's shoe, women's pasty white leg, gym's treadmill.

So far? I'm liking them a lot. I've worn a lot of New Balances in the last few years, but this is my first pair of Brooks. The sales person told me that we needed to find shoes that felt "A-MAY-ZING." I told her I would likely never say a shoe felt amazing unless it was my beloved two-generations-ago running shoe, so she should probably kiss that expectation goodbye. But I'm liking these. My toes are liking these. They don't look like men's shoes, although I'm not exactly trying to win fashion awards at the gym, so that doesn't really matter to me. I have 10 days to try them out, but they can't show wear if I need to return them, so I'm hitting the treadmill and elliptical to test them.

I'm hoping these shoes will help turn around my workout aversions and subsequently help me snap out of my funk. I'm registering for a few 5Ks next month to further motivate me and get some miles on the shoes. The weather in Florida is finally showing signs of cooling off to manageable temperatures and humidity levels, so running a few races is actually ideal. Another perk? Running races around the holidays always seems to help me get through the pumpkin pie haze and mashed potato fests that I tend to indulge in around this time of year. Win, win, win.

Not so big of a win? The jogging stroller with a 30+ pound opinionated toddler - it's a completely different monster (or "monstah," as Elle would say) than it was when we were running in the spring. But that's a blog post for another day ...

Linking up with Ashley, who never fails to entertain and inspire me with her posts, especially as she shares her pregnancy and fitness tales:

 

The time I had almost six days to myself.

Two weeks ago, Tim was on vacation. He's been at his job for six years, I've been at mine for less than one, so we don't exactly have equal vacation time. I'd taken some unpaid time off in May, so I wasn't able to take more time off, and on that Thursday, we got up super early, drove to the airport and Tim and Elle flew to Ohio. They were gone until Tuesday, when I left work early to pick them up at the airport (and of course their flight was delayed and I encountered torrential rain on the way there and we hit rush hour traffic on the way back).

But that's six days - three times the longest amount of time I have been away from Elle since she was born almost two years ago. Tim and I are used to traveling separately and being away from each other - although not preferable, we're able to return to our long-distance relationship roots and manage short-term separations with relative ease. And he and Elle have plenty of one-on-one experience (for those not familiar with our situation, he works nights and I work days, so he takes care of Elle every morning), so I wasn't worried about her missing me terribly.

I was simultaneously excited and depressed about their trip to see our families. I knew I'd miss them, but I also knew I'd enjoy having some "me" time and the opportunity to get some stuff done around the condo.

Tim put almost 1,200 miles on the rental car and spanned the state, hitting every region except the southeast corner of Ohio (we've never had much use for the southeastern part of the state - sorry, southeastern Ohioans!). Elle was along for about half of those miles.

Elle was a trouper and traveled super well (especially considering she had to spend so much time in the car/plane and slept in unfamiliar places with people she doesn't see on a regular basis), and Tim got to see his beloved Reds and lots of his family, but we're hoping there aren't many more vacations like this, where we're separated and/or rushed and/or exhausted. 

While they were gone, I went to Spin class (twice! and to the gym without having to rush home!). I made a huge mess of the condo (and then spent time cleaning it all up). I planned a night out with friends. I ate what I wanted when I wanted and watched crap TV. I also missed Tim and Elle terribly, and while I was glad they were with family, I was jealous that I wasn't with them. It was hard to walk past Elle's door every night - open - and know that the quiet in the condo wasn't because she was peacefully sleeping in her crib.

To illustrate how a situation like this presents many conflicting emotions, I made a list of some of the things I noticed about my time by myself. Here are some things I could do that I normally cannot:

- Leave scissors out.

- Leave markers out.

- Not have to wash dishes every day or run the dishwasher more than once.

- Decide to go to the beach and just grab a towel and go - not debate the timing of the trip, if the time getting ready is worth the effort, worry about the sand that will get in all of the crevices of the baby and car, bags needed for the trip, etc.

- Spend an hour debating between two different pairs of shoes and then decide not to get either one.

- Visit 5 different (shoe) stores in about 40 minutes because I didn't have to mess with a car seat, stroller, etc. (I was having a shoe crisis, and unlike many women my age, I detest shoe shopping. Detest is actually a nice way of putting it. At one point I called my mother and expressed my anger at the genes that gave me huge, wide feet. But I digress.)

-  Go to Target even though it was monsooning out - I needed to buy stuff, darn it.

-  Eat lunch at 2:30 instead of noon because no one (other than me) was crying and whining because they were hungry and it was nap time.

- Watch TV before bedtime (like Lifetime movies and other fun stuff) instead of reading Tumford the Terrible for the tenth time that week before bedtime.

- Go to Spin class without worrying about who was going to watch my kid and "Ohmygosh I have to get home" because Tim/the sitter needs to do this and that and I need to take care of Elle.

- Sleep in until a ridiculous hour after a night out with friends. (I would probably still be sleeping except one of the cats jumped up on my dresser.)

- Have a night out with friends without paying for a sitter or worry about how early I was going to have to get up the next day.

- Leave my coffee cup on the floor while I leisurely read the newspaper.

- Change diapers.

- Leave the house whenever I wanted.

Conversely, I could not:

- Get hugs when I got home from work.

- Rock my baby before bedtime.

- Read Tumford the Terrible for the tenth time that week.

- Have a regular eating schedule.

- Spend the entire time at home because it got lonely.

- Make a freaking decision and buy the shoes already instead of wasting a ton of time deciding.

- Hear the sounds of giggles and toddler-speak that normally fill my home.

- See my family.

- See my husband's family.

Princess Elle Belle at her birthday party.

 - Attend the birthday party my husband's side of the family hosted for my almost-two-year-old daughter.

- Spend time with Tim.

- Enjoy a baseball game with my husband and his cousins.

- Make up for the fact that Tim took about seven photos on the trip (I would have been pushing 300).

I was extremely glad when they got home, despite the fact that the condo had been pristine that morning and looked like a tornado had hit within 3.4 seconds of their arrival. There was laundry to do, routines to get back in to and hugs to catch up on. It was fantastic to have a few days to myself, but I'm glad to be sharing them again :)

Wordless Wednesday: Shoes

Elle has been obsessed with shoes for the last few weeks. The minute you take them off, she tries to put them on her feet whether they be your shoes or her own:

Elle's shoes ... in my shoes.

And video of the shoe love: